- dental abscess - the last dentist I saw was in Tonga. I've so busy "healing" everything except one important part of my body - MY MOUTH. Come on, let's face it, me without a mouth is like a stripper without breasts, or a hooker without a vagina. Oh, and I have zip, zero, nada dental coverage, medical only (which I want to see a doctor about as much as I want to unleash a swarm of angry yellow jackets right up my anus). I'm trying to do this the "homeopathic way" only to find out I ran out of Echinacea and the health food store, the only one for a 30 mile radius is not going to be accessible as there are trees blocking us in up here on "The Mountain". Ugh...
- toxic fumes - fried my last brain cell which is BULLSHIT. This part of my misery involves another human being or two or three and so I will leave out further mention except ONE POINT: It was NOT a fun high - YAY. It was a VERY VERY BAD high - very UN-yay. :(
- frozen ass cheeks - my overalls are the thickest and warmest bottoms I have, they are also a LOT of work to get out of and I have a bladder of an ancient one. I opted for ease instead of warmth. Bad choice.
- numb feet - with two pair of wool socks I must wear my Crocks which are unlined to fit my double stockinged (I'm not sure that's a word at this point, see the part above where I fried my last brain cell) feet. My other shoes won't fit if I wear two pair of socks. It is colder to wear only one. I must therefore wear the Crocks to have warmer feet. They were okay until they got wet. I was a very long ways away from spare socks and shoes. Like 15 acres of cold, windy, rainy mountain with obstructions like TREES in my way.
- ringing ears and burning eyeballs - listing these together as a "2 for 1" as they are both side effect from the toxic fumes.
- migraine - blaming it on the fumes and the rest of my "highlights".
But wait, there's more! (I won't frighten myself with the details in the event I'm brave enough to re-read this amazing piece of literature in the far distant future, ha.)
Okay, so today was/is rough. But it's a) almost over b) full of ample opportunity for growth, so much in fact I will happily spread it out over, oh let's say a lifetime and just call it "pacing myself" for posterity. Shit, was this really a DAY, just ONE DAY?
Okay, I feel better for having whined. Truly, it helps to vent. I feel like a bit of an ungrateful ass for not listing everything I'm thankful for first. Yet, human I am. A damn perfect example of one too!
Here's are my top 5 things I am grateful for today:
Mz. P (without her I would have, well, yeah)
Internet (of all days it's been out and spotty tonight it works)
Hydrogen Peroxide (help for my mouth)
Netflix (I watched Mary and Max, a total mood stabilizer)
Ridiculousness (today was a difficult day to find anything to laugh about, yet here I am :D)
Rain would have made the list as it washed my tears today while I was bawling my little heart out. HOWEVER, since it was a direct cause of some of my aforementioned misery, it doesn't make the cut. Rain shouldn't partner with wind and freezing flipping weather, it takes the magic out of it, well in my opinion at least. Mainly because my "didn't prepare for the weather" Californian ass was not dressed appropriately in suitable FREEZING - RAINY - WINDY attire I was miserable. Lesson learned. Tomorrow I am duct taping on a down comforter under a big ass plastic trash bag and wearing socks on my hands, my bunny hat with the feet tied around my face over the earmuffs, microwaved rice in a pillow case inside of my underwear, and I don't know what else yet, but yeah! I got this now. Oh, my imagination should have made the grateful list. I mean I can do some amazing shit with a metal refrigerator shelf, aluminum foil, large metal clips, twine, and empty paper towel rolls - See Directional Antenna for reference under earliest post... ha ha ha. I can handle this weather, I just need to see things from a new perspective. I can handle this mouth thing, fuck, I speak "SURVIVE THE IMPOSSIBLE" fluently. I got this. Just needed a very personal pep-talk with my self. Self: YOU CAN DO THIS. With love in my heart and a burning desire in the depths of my soul to keep making this miracle called life happen in the most extraordinary way possible: JOYFULLY. It's all worked out so far. Just gotta have faith in the process and remember to be kind no matter what. A tough set of circumstances is never a "reason" to be a heinous bitch or an ungrateful troll. There's simply no excuse for bad behavior. I will do better tomorrow. Wow, I just set a realistic goal. Progress!
What can I do to be pro-active and change old behaviors and habits RIGHT NOW? I can read and post the most amazingly beautiful affirmation I copied down last year for my ENTIRE body (mouth included). I stopped reading it. I got lazy and cut corners from doing some of my own "work" and look what happened. Lesson #4, 676, 987
My affirmation for health:
In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete. I accept health as the natural state of my being. I now consciously release any mental patterns within me that could express as dis-ease in any way. I love and approve of myself. I love and approve of my body. I feed it nourishing foods and beverages.
P.S. I love you. :)
P.S.S. Kids, if you ever read any of this ridiculousness from your dear old mom please keep one thing in mind: You are what you eat! (For dinner I had a bowl of quinoa with cinnamon and walnuts, lots and lots of wal-nuts ;-))
Namaste - K
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