A New Tune ~

Whoa, what a night, what a day. I cooked my first all by myself breakfast, lunch, and dinner up here on "The Mountain". I figured out I need to offer compassion to that one person who has offered me none and love her more, just with boundaries (me thinks there's some lesson in here too, ha ha). Going to sit on the job search, make sure I am doing right by me, my integrity, and by God before I move on. I came up here to challenge myself and seeing this through in the healthiest and most balanced way tempered with respect, love, and compassion seems to be what I am not only required to do and well, I am not quite done here yet. Oddly, today, the first day after my last talk with boss lady was met with the most balanced and gentle and authentic warmth, from both of us to be fair. Miracle of miracles. I should really stop being surprised! Okay, I wasn't shocked, I was myself, the best of myself, I've been working on my shit and so apparently has she. This is the first relationship I've been in where the other person actually shifted as well, not just all left up to me. It's quite the most amazing experience. I will be glad to revisit this post and re-read how wonderful this feels. It's a new feeling to have someone rededicate their energy towards you in a positive way. No one has ever done that with me before, as my lovely co-worker Mz. H would say I've been hanging out with the wrong crowd. Understatement. I've never had this type of support before. Not in person. Not consistently. Nope. I've had a few real friends, still have them, but it's different. This is like the battle field, I know who has my back now. Pretty fucking amazing. So few people actually know what's really happened. Yet I persist and I succeed. I am following through and through GOD I am learning to live day by day. It's the hardest lesson and the hardest one I have been forced to learn. I can either have a shitty day worrying about tomorrow and what "might" be or I can have this amazing day, and I did!

Here's where things got really fun today, so my check is like a fraction of the already work for peanuts check as I'm pretty much working for hugs because of the fall and appointments etc.. etc.. So, Mz. P lets me take her car into town to my dentist appointment where they tell me I have to have my top and bottom teeth in the front sealed, this lasts 3 years max so "The Mountain" will be on my mind every time I revisit the dentist for life. YAY! Ugh.. anyways, over that, my dentist is actually amazing, they all are and of COURSE they are all LDS. Lol. Someone said dentists weren't compassionate and ethical, and I agreed until meeting my new group of Mormon dentists. I must say, it works. THEY ROCK! Proceeding on here, after the dentist, light errands as only a $12 budget could be called, ha ha. Leave Target and what happens? Mz. P's car is deader than a door nail. WHAT??? Oh yeah, then I get a jump, then I am driving and the car dies, just dies right before the on-ramp to the freeway where it intersects where the other side lets out. (However I just explained that, just think, one of the worst case scenarios while operating a motor vehicle.)  I have the hazards on, I'm around the corner from Shell but I am dead in the water. Cars behind me getting off the freeway swerving to miss me and moi? I am cool and calm and collected. I don't even breathe heavy. I get out and do all the right things, motion people around, call Mz. P totally calm, the whole 9. Why? 'Cause God's got this is what I know, in that moment, and in this one! That's why.  Lesson in that moment is that this can either make it or break it, make it or break me, make it or break my day, make it or break my trust in the process and my faith in God. Verdict?  I made it baby and it felt soooooooooooooooooooo good. WHAT? Yep, I rocked the moment, and two good ole' boys that were really good ole' girls from the self rescuing princess society pushed me to the Shell Station, jumped the car and back on the road I was. Now what? I got this. Oh and the cause? Not sure, there is a possibility that a squirrel who made a lovely nest on Mz. P's battery knocked the cables loose. The lovely gas attendant who of course showed up as the girls had me in the Shell driveway and then offered to help noted the extreme heap of discarded nut casings all over the battery. He was a certified genius, yet so very deserving of compassion (I will work on that later of course, ha). Yes, it was funny and a little inconvenient, and maybe a little concerning, but that's it. That was the run of emotions, fear had no place. Even driving home in a total downpour behind a fuel truck with sheets of water so thick I had no visibility beyond maybe one car length, and I felt not a damn thing even related to fear. This was the most absurdly balanced day of my life perhaps. Okay, that was just strange to write, but yeah, possibly so. At least up to date!

Goddess ~ Today I was a woman. Today I am a woman. Today I AM.
God
Music has always inspired my delicate soul,
the melodies fill me up, free me and make me whole
Lyrics support my every beautiful emotion,
moody, turbulent, a crescendo like my beloved ocean
Harmony, sweet harmony and the balance of life,
all merging together, songs of coexistance and overcoming strife
Listening to the the strains, it's all relevant, it uplifts and soothes my pain
There is a message. Listen. Life is an orchestra and love, the greatest symphony ~

We are one.

I thank you Divine Creator for my Divine Existence.
By your Grace,
Your Pure Daughter

Top 10 Things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Self Rescuing Princesses
Hazard Lights
Music, Sweet Music
Mormon Dentists
Self-Love
Dark Chocolate 88%
Pink Toe Nails
Growth Opportunities
Faith in GOD
My Babies

P.S. I sure thought of you two today, more than a couple of times. It was pretty cool being back in LDS land and finding out one of my dentists is preparing to say "goodbye" to his son for 2 years in just a couple of weeks. His son is going to Chile. I wonder where you are going to be called to serve son. How you have managed to continue with these right actions and right choices to be able to serve is so amazing to me. You are the best of all worlds. You are the best representation. You really are. Oh I am so very proud of you. Wherever you go, you will always be right with me, in my heart, always. My dear girl, this struggle of my own just reminds me of how extremely blessed I have been to have you as an example. Who would have ever thought a mother would think of her teenage daughter as a role model? Now that's a hell of a feat young lady! You are quite positively a rock star, but not the Amy Winehouse kind, more like Taylor Swift without all the boy drama. Plus, you're a lot smarter, and like uber gorgeous. Really though my Star child it's your fortitude and insight, wisdom and perseverance that demand I give you no less. A hell of a way to stay motivated, I have no intention of letting you down. Simple as that! :) Oh how I love you two. Mom

P.S.S. Tonight I can hear the "little buddhas" (these super adorable little frogs that come out from the fountains and ponds, they haven't been out since the end of fall). It's like nature is celebrating tonight as well. So very lovely ~

Lovin Yourself Video....Avasa & Matty Love...video by Hiero

BOB MARLEY THREE LITTLE BIRDS

Inspired ~

I am free, within my soul, unshackled, my feet skim the water, I launch towards the sky
Over the mountains, I sail through the air, feel the wind on my face, I am ALIVE
There is no enticement or allure, My heart is my own, to none will I bow, I can not be bought
No cage for me again, My spirit is finally unchained, Watch me soar above, I will not be caught
Tame me, unthinkable, though there are many who have tried to bind me and to still my heartbeat
Yet I am protected,  you see, a rainbow is where the span of my wings and Heaven's gate do meet ~

Lesson # ? ~

Thought I'd learned this lesson: One Day at a Time. I'm taking a wild guess here that I did not. I may not be getting fired, however, I have no idea how long I will stay here and really what is going to happen. Lesson? Live each day, one day at a time. I really thought I had this. Then I realized, when I was in California last, though my little support group was mottled and far spread, there was something that looked a lot like a security net, at least from the tight rope I was walking then. As Mz. P reminded me, now there is no safety net, truly nothing. It's funny how we think we have learned something and then we relearn it and go,"Wait a minute, I know these steps, I just did this dance." Well boogie woogie baby, I didn't learn it well enough. I really don't know if I'll get fired or fed up first or maybe I'm just going to really let go and let God field this inning! Stranger things have happened. I actually like my kids dad again, in a totally platonic baby daddy kind of way, but the bullshit from the past, even the bullshit still presently apparent it doesn't matter. It's not my shit anymore and so it doesn't fall into my lap or my world. Plus, we made some pretty amazing kids together. Can't dislike someone for too long that contributed to your hearts purpose! Anyways, the big lesson is just make each day the best damn day because tomorrow is truly never promised and what may happen tomorrow is not promised and hell if it's gonna be a hard day might as well have the best day only one day away! I don't think with that attitude I can go wrong. Besides I'm a happy girl and it's time each day was a true representation of that ~ I'm tired as hell and smiling now. Perhaps this is the miracle I have been praying for. Damn, once again, all my prayers have been answered. It's all about perspective. I've got this, well God's got this. We've got this ~

Goddess - I exalt thee, I am strength personified bathed in the power of Divine
God
I am standing tall, no longer will I cower, this is my turn and I am going to rise
This life has just begun, as I stand on the precipice, seeing with new eyes
I know YOU love me, that knowledge alone has changed my entire world
No longer am I broken and beaten, afraid of my own shadow, a scared little girl
There is a plan I must follow that you've laid out, most especially for me
Yes God, this is your world now, and whatever my life will be, will be ~
THANK YOU!

By your Grace alone ~
Your Pure Daughter

Top 5 Things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Dr. Brad
Stripes
Polka Dots
Beano
HEALTH

P.S. Mom here, just a little reminder that I love you both. Hmmm, I think you should know one more thing tonight: I don't want any take backs. NONE AT ALL. I wouldn't trade my worst day for a new day because then there would be a chance that there could be a day without you both in it.   ~  Love you like Saturn loves it's rings, Like Uranus loves it's, oh well you get the point. :)

I Will by Etana ~

I will always, always be rising
I will always be forever surviving
I will always be more than they’re expecting
I will always, I will always Be…

If I stumble I will stand up straight again,
Cause I know in my heart, I must not fail,
Even in the darkest days I’ll never be afraid,
Cause I know, I know, I will find my way,

Jah let the sun come shining in our lifes again,
And let the wind keep blowing, blow love in the air,
Keep the children playing, laughter everywhere,
Generations have passed, generations to come, nothing to compare,

If I stumble I will stand up straight again,
Cause I know in my heart, I must not fail,
Even in the darkest days I’ll never be afraid,
Cause I know, I know, I will find my way…..

Rise Again (Haiti Tribute) Shaggy,Sean Paul,Sean Kingston,Tessane Chin a...

Sixpence None the Richer - We Have Forgotten

Michael Franti & Spearhead - Do Ya Love

Etana - I Am Strong (2012)

Eh? ~

Well of all the jobs I've applied for or rather applied myself towards I get a total of one solid offer and it's in Canada. I could leave it all, all my dreams, my current goals and go. 3 weeks, new life, new country. Good, no let me correct that, GREAT money and yet it would be a short sell for the long haul. I know this process now. When nothing is coming my way, when there is a lull then something pops up. It's not jumping onto that first opportunity no matter how amazing it sounds. It's standing firm in faith. Knowing the pretty packaging doesn't make it what it ought to be even if it's a lot of what I want it to be. So, here I go again on my own and I'm doing it. I must say that even if I do end up "houseless" I didn't sell out. I'm doing this with God. The "special someone" out there who is the "lid for my pot" is what I am holding out for in ALL aspects of life. I am not just "daring to dream bigger" I am doing it and God is supporting it. So really, it's a win win. Period! I'm NOT SETTLING in ANY area of my life. I am open and willing. I am open and willing to scrub toilets, be an activity coordinator, sit my butt in school full time and teach yoga, wait tables, scoop up dog shit, whatever. I AM OPEN AND WILLING and I'm doing it THIS way because it may be hard but it is NOT difficult. Difficult is DRAMA, having a bunch of crap that does NOT need to be in my life because I "think" it makes things easier. I'll use my cheap ass flip phone and pay it myself. It's not pride, it's LOVE, self-love. I'm worth more than settling, each person sharing this all too human experience is worth more than settling. We are souls, we should be with the mate to our soul, or at the very least if that other half is unavailable this time around, if our split-apart has moved on to another realm for instance, than we should stay within our soul "group". People who support one another and uplift each other while working together towards a common goal: Enlightenment. My world includes; yoga, meditation, kirtan, prayer, books, nature, animals, and always children. The rest is material to many yet immaterial to me. I care, to a certain point, then really I do not after a certain point. It's less and less important to me, this material world. Yet for my children, for this new goal set, for this new dream I will harmonize, I will balance, and I will not take what option is thrown out no matter the temptation to run away and hide no matter how I justify it. Even if some of these temptations have 10 packs (that's like a 6 pack made in prime woman hormonal heaven dreams, benefits of maturing in years is the reference point). Whew, I need a cold shower, a cold shower and a nap. Ha ha... Wow, the whole "Principals only mean something when you stand by them in their inconvenience" has never quite rung so true."  Across the board I am upholding these standards. Well, I'm healthy, and I'm content which right now is better than happy because it's balanced. Plus this tired it's hard even for me to muster up extreme enthusiasm. I can however muster up extreme gratitude!  Here I go, Round 2, getting up for work at 4 a.m. to get my head in the game for my 6 a.m. start time. Not leaving anything out. Kabbbalah, yoga, meditation, course in miracles, water, nutrients, breakfast, more water... I got this!!!

Goddess - I am the vibration, feel me ~
God    
Lacing up my gloves, setting my intention I climb into the ring
This isn't a fight, this is a battle as I am your soldier, you are my King
Bright like the sun you light up the way, exposed, I am no longer shielded
Taking cover isn't an option, standing alone yet it's your power I've wielded
THANK YOU ~ I am tasting each moment in you, through you, and by your Grace
This is the time, and the time is now, for my life, your life, in me ~

By Your Grace,
Your Pure Daughter

Top 5 Things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Temptation
Growth
Health
Wholeness
Graciousness

P.S. Oh you two apples of mine eye, how do I love thee? Like an ant loves a family picnic that ends in spilled crumbs and leftover messes on clear warm sunny days. Like a dog loves a stick that is continually thrown and never lost across a body of water not too deep to traverse and close enough to run back. Like a bear loves the first day of spring when the last vestiges of winter have melted off into the dawn and the appetite for life is unsurpassed by any other sensation, even hunger. Like that and so very much more. Always, Mom

Train In Vain

QUEEN & DAVID BOWIE: Under Pressure

Cut the cheese ~

Tomorrow is the big day back in the saddle. Who knows what is going to happen. I am simply living this life one day at a time. Trusting God and trusting the process. More doors opened today. My view is expanding, my faith growing with each challenge. Not too long ago all of these pressures, the lack of support (outside of myself), all of it would have overwhelmed me, crippled me. Now, today, I am gaining strength (all prayers answered). Consistency in all things. Doing this life right. Right action, right thought (well, that's a lifelong goal.. ha ha)...  Point is, I'm doing it and not talking about it. Rather not talking about doing it and just doing it. All the things I don't want I am willing to consider and the "N" word is being disband from my life entirely. Ever with the letter N in front of it does not bode well for lil ole me. Nope, no siree! Applied Science, that's what I am working towards everyday. I am healthy and wealthy in love, the agape kind. THE ONLY KIND that is DIVINE. ;-) Ahh, I've missed my cheesy ways, because I am the queen of cheese even if my doc says I shouldn't eat it, I can still cut it (as the lovely father of my kids would boast!).  He he he... I am in a strange mood tonight, strange yet silly, silly yet goofy, goofy yet well, you get the point.  Lots of love for all so I'm not scrimpin' on anyone. Metta (Loving Kindness) to all and to all a GOOD NIGHT ~

God

The way is unclear, with no path in sight

I have no idea what tomorrow will bring

Only trusting in you on this cold starry night

Makes my heart soar and my spirit sing ~
Thank you.

By your Grace,
Your Pure Daughter

Top 5 Things I am GRATEFUL for today:
HEALTH
METTA
CHEESE
YOGA
MOON

P.S. Kids, I love you more than Bruce Lee loved karate.  More than a squirrel loves nuts. More than a hummingbird loves to fly. More than a missionary loves his bike. I love you like THAT much and SO VERY MUCH more ~ Love, Mom

Huey Lewis - The Power Of Love

Musical Monks of Zen Perform Hidden Treasure For Zen Masters At Great Vo...

Musical Monks of Zen Perform Fury 3 For Zen Masters At Great Vow Zen Mon...

Billy Joel for the Soul ~

"They say that these are not the best of times, but they are the only times I've ever known, and I believe there is a time for meditation in cathedrals of our own."  ~ Billy Joel

Short and Sweet ~

God,
Thank you.

By Your Grace,
Your Pure Daughter

Top 5 Things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Great Vow
Reconciliation
Hope
Forgiveness
Insight


P.S. Kids, I love you. Mom

Ram Dass "Awareness"

David Cook - Time of my Life

Heartbeat ~

I keep seeing this recurring theme of a heartbeat. I hear a heartbeat in my music, in a song, in a poem. I listen for the beating of my own heart and I hear God.

When my children were little I used to lay my head next to their hearts so I could hear their little hearts beating. When we would take naps together I would lay with their little bellies by my face so I could turn my head and my ear would be flush against their hearts, my favorite sound in the world. 

Perhaps it is this gratitude that has filled every part of my being. Last night was so incredibly surreal, like I was virtually in shock and near to bursting. I have had so much transpire in just the past 24 hours. My boss, she simply wants to control me, to change me, to modify me to become what she wants of me.  I stood firm today, for the first time I have followed through, and I did it alone, well alone of a human hand to hold. God has my back. I know I was not alone. I am the Goddess. I no longer have to pray to her, I do need to acknowledge her, care for her, respect her, love her and cherish her. If I would have been watching my daughter instead of myself, that is the only way I would have been more proud of my behavior, my courage, my strength. I can't believe I did it, I didn't fold, I didn't go jump back into the fire at the first opportunity to "make nice" with someone who has no love for me and no empathy for others. The treatment of people coming to lessen suffering by inflicting additional suffering intentionally by another individual, well it is not only ironic, but it's very sad. I understand that those who offer the least compassion are those needing the most. I offered it freely. I was the most authentically honest representation of God's daughter today. Perhaps proud isn't the right word, yet I would have been proud had it been my daughter. That feeling, that was the first time I've ever felt it for myself. God kept me strong. I am thankful. So very thankful for this experience.  

I am no longer that starved and abused little puppy dog. These changes have all happened so quickly I feel much like I am suffering from whiplash. I guess moving up finding a new home, new job and new life is quite the priority.  I thought I was happy here. I did have some amazingly wonderful happy moments. Now I wonder if it was complacency and maybe even a little bit of hiding?  Whatever it was, it has changed.  Open and Willing. That's all I am asked to be. I have the goals, I have the dreams, God has the plan! Seems like my big enlightening moments of late were just preparation for these big events that have been unfolding. I have a hunch there will be a few more in this life ~

Going to head out to another retreat center tomorrow to meditate and chant with Mz. P.  I am so thankful for that woman. God placed the perfect teacher in my life, the epitome of kindness and gentleness. What an inspired and inspiring angel she is. I know it's ironic we live and work on a spiritual retreat center yet are going to another for refuge and peace. God provides as God provides. I think I mentioned last night that all of my prayers have been answered. :)

I wasn't going to write anything tonight. A prayer, my note to my children, my final 5. Yet, I had something to say after all. My heart, well my heart has love in it that has risen to the surface yet also has spread out to every cell of my being. I wanted to write about love, this love, yet I can't find the words. 

God

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways

I love how you never left my side even when the words cut deep

I love how you gave me strength even when I wanted to weep

I love how you gave me eyes to see the wounds you healed

I love how you gave me ears to hear your truth revealed

I love how you gave me wisdom to respond with clarity and insight

I love how you gave me a heart so I may feel your love tonight ~

By Your Grace,

Your Pure Daughter

Top 10 Things I am Thankful for Today:

Mz. P
Mary Mary

Carpet Rides
Cleansing
A Mother's Love
Compassion

Bodhi 

Stillness
Honor

Heartbeats

P.S. My son, my daughter: A loyal and loving heart holds the key to every door. There has never been a lock it wouldn't open. I adore you both always and forever. Mom

Sat Nam The Grace Within You: Live from Sat Nam Fest 2011

Rumi Saturday ~

Accept HIS command and you will be able to execute it ~ Rumi

Whole Hearted ~ A New Beginning

Most amazing news today: it's official I am one healthy girl. Inside and out, it all checks out. My last test result was waiting in my mail slot this morning when I checked in for work. I feel like this is the fresh new everything. Nothing else matters anymore. None of the bullshit from before today has any place in this new life. The only thing that can destroy my life is me living in fear. There's nothing to fear anymore. It's all been confirmed, it's in black and white. By God's GRACE I am IN IT, this LIFE, it's time to start living it and stop fearing it.  What's done is done. I am a whole person with a whole life. God provided. It's just amazing to me that I ever felt alone when all along I've been cherished and loved by God. I was chosen for God's purpose. What higher calling have I been waiting for?  I'm open and willing to this life and ready to go forth and live it.

My advice when praying? BE READY! I never ever ever thought this day would come. I was so secretly (I don't know how secret it really was now) terrified of each test and the outcome, on pins and needles. I didn't want to say anything and give something  power over me, my life, my health. It was like in direct opposition to faith, to God.  God provided even though I doubted. Who am I to ever again doubt God. I'm sorry is sadly lacking the depths of my sorrow for the years and the tears, yet it's with compassion and love I can release this now. God, Divine Grace I am humbled, shaken, weak, yet, I am alive. What a day. What a life, and just to think it's just begun ~

GOD -
Oh Divine Creator.
I thank you for making me whole.
For showing me my true self.
For never doubting me.
For never giving up on me.
For always loving me.
For showing me the path.
For answering all of my prayers.

Hear my gratitude, see my intentions
Listen to my song as words can not express
This total wonderment and moment of unutterable emotion
How do I repay my life? How do I repay a total second chance?
I give it all to you, I am yours

By Your Grace Alone, I am yours
Your Pure Daughter
Kathleen Elizabeth ~

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Miracles
Life
Love
Health
Happiness

P.S. Kids, please check your email. I am healthy! Really and truly healthy. More than "healed" I have health in body, mind, and spirit.  This has been the longest road to travel to get to this point yet, it's the road I had to travel to aquire the wisdom and tools and the insight to continue this journey, my journey. I believe the rest of this life is the best of my life. You both, you have had the worst, now you are going to get the best. This time I won't let you down. God didn't let me down, so I'm not letting God down. Simple as that.  I love you both so much there are simply no words to express the depths of this love that God has shown me. This love is so vast and expansive, an abyss so deep it is fathomless. As God's love for me is so absolute so is my love for you both. I only know one way to express this love for you both, to express my gratitude for my life, my love for God and my total and utter humble appreciation and thanks, I will show you with my new life. One Day at a Time. In all that I am and all that I will be, Mom

U2 - With Or Without You

Good Day- Ron Pope

Apply Within ~

What I want? Keeping in mind this is setting the intention for goals and not for plans. I hope I've learned a few things by now, like not making plans. That's God's department, I just make the goals, set the intention, and follow through baby. It's not a race, it's not a competition with anyone but yourself (myself). I'm challenging myself to dream the biggest I've ever dared to dream.  I've been building up to this, it's like a crescendo rising to meet life full on at optimal capacity. My own life force building and building. It's surreal that in the most uncertain of times, with zero "safety net" (or at least the illusion of one, generally with backup plans that generally also had backup plans, referred to as backup plans A-Z with backup plans A-Z squared).  I've found my inner voice, my inner strength. I have thought more than once, WHERE WAS THIS GIRL WHEN I REALLY NEEDED HER? However, she has always been here is the resounding answer. I just haven't been in a place, to feel this safe, within, nor have I had this faith in God, within. All I ever needed was just a heartbeat away. My own. I just had to learn to listen. There is God pumping life into this vessel for a purpose. I am a soul. I am a purpose. I am a soul with a purpose and a purpose with a soul.

What tonight's big revelation look like and sound like?
My spirit has always been free, within my soul, and my purpose, my purpose is to love in this life. To learn to love no matter what. To respond and not to react. To listen and not speak unless I have something to contribute, not just something to say. It's a lot of lessons strung together over and over again. It just doesn't have to be so difficult does it?

Goddess
God
There is such a thing as being bone weary and exhausted, I'm tired and sore
My body aches, my head hurts, yet strangely I am ready for more
Today was nuts as you know, validation comes from within not without
I said goodbye to that last attachment, goodbye forever I have no doubt
It's freeing, liberating, exhilarating, it's time to look at the possibility of forever
I gave up too soon, I kept using that one damn word: NEVER
I'm learning God, I'm off to bed to get some sleep, thank you for not giving up on me
I need to get my rest now to start the best of my life, I plan to return the favor you see ~

By your grace,
Your Pure Daughter

Top 5 Things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Graceful Gratitude
Deep Appreciation
Discernment
Intuition
FAITH

P.S. Hey you two, Mom here, I started trusting God, acknowledging God, and you know what? Things are working out, I'm totally rocking the honest thing, it's a process, but well it's amazing. I won't change myself for anyone anymore. I have standards all the way across the board and it's like God expects us to have them, like, it's the way it was always supposed to be. I don't know, this consistency is pretty new to me (as you both know). I'm scared shitless, but I'm alive to be scared shitless. I'm pretty stoked about that part. One day we will share and celebrate this craziness. One day soon. I love you more than all the m & ms in the universe (even the coconut ones)! Mom

Prefab Sprout - The King Of Rock 'N' Roll

Bob Marley - redemption song acustic

Kid's World ~

One more amazing post found via Facebook (Kid's World) that says, well what's most on my mind and in my heart ~
Mom

Kissing Cousins ~

A Lullaby for the Goddess of Jordan

She spins around in circles of light, as she dances beneath the cover of night,

her laughter is a lyric that she sings to the wind, a musical breeze that kisses the skin,

she is a goddess wrapped in loves amber rays, a siren who beckons the heart not to stray,

in her element of passion and fire, she embodies the untamed and strokes the desire,

the goodness of goodness she is truly pure, for her weapon is the enticement of her innocent lure,

a divine spark is she that ignites, reaching the soul's darkest recesses until hope does alight, 

and if you dream, dream of her kiss, for only in slumber may you attain nirvana's true bliss ~

Goddess

God

I have all I need, I am becoming all I can

Today I am thankful for being who I am

I was all I could be, and so very much more

You gave me the key, to open life's door

Nothing is better, it's just different somehow

I'm here with you God, it's just me here right now

Funny, I guess that I didn't think that was enough

Yet here I am writing to you about all this stuff

Not very eloquent but I think simply stated

Sometimes the best thing to say is "Thank you"

I thank you for my being right here, right now ~

By your Grace,

Your Pure Daughter

P.S. Hey kids, just a little note to say I have loved each of you since before you were born. I prayed for you, I have loved you before I knew you. My angels. It may be a repeat performance telling you both this again, but it's my truth and my story, and it's so powerfully true to me. It's my biggest, best, most profound truth. Loving you both. You are my hope, my inspiration, my motivation. I am grateful for the Divine privilege of sharing this world with the both of you. I miss you two and once again, know I am so proud of you. I can't wait to see what you do with this fantastic life. I'm "staying tuned" to your channels. Love, Mom 

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:

Shared Ridiculousness 

Divine Guidance

New Perspectives

Genuine Friendships

Belly Laughing 

One Blessed Love,

K 

Side note: I vow not to make fun of kissing cousins again. Not so funny when you find out someone you once crushed on may actually be your cousin. Well it's kinda funny, but it really messes with those late night dreams when you sometimes use a filler person for from the past. Hey, it gets a little lonely up here on "The Mountain"! I'm only human. Besides, no one can seriously believe I have that much control over my unique and "special" mind. Me and all my buddies (the ones that dwell on the inside) need an outlet. Dreams seem to be the acceptable outlet and safe place for us to all play together.  Now however I am a little bit limited on who my "special" friends can be when I visit my home world. You know, my home world where I feed my unicorns? Well, maybe someday there will be a real knight, the kind that scratches his ass and laughs at my jokes, the real kind, that is kind. The one that is the essence of kindness, the essence of gentleness. The one who, well, the one. Alright enough of this mushy shit. Don't you dare judge me! :)

Like an idiot ~

I'm on a roll, found two posts (via Facebook @ Smile Goes Miles) that are so completely in line with my heart ~
"Here's looking at you kid(s)!"
Mom

Posted Post ~

I found this via facebook on "Smile Goes Miles", I immediately posted this, and sent it to your email, and your brother's email. I love you both.

Mom

Michael Jackson - Heal The World

Believing in God ~ Believing in Me

A vast expanse of love ~
Sharing it all, one drop at a time ~
Building a bridge across the waters of mankind ~

Without judgement, without condemnation
a place to learn, a place for celebration
stepping out, learning to walk
searching, seeking, fumbling, falling
sometimes dancing, sometimes crawling

One day at a time
a place my love for my children thrives
outside of myself where truth never hides
it's a place I learn to share my heart again
perhaps my closest confidant, my only friend
No criticism, no hate, no angry words thrown in my face
Free to be myself, to open up about my personal space
My own private island ~

A prayer whispered, a plea said
a crazy idea, a book that I've read
a silly song, or a badly written poem
a place my mind may wander and roam

I'm learning to trust this process called life.
Rendering my fears powerless, ending my strife.

Believing in God ~ Believing in Me

Homie Don't Play That ~

Most of the time, I'm OK. Today wasn't one them. Although I prayed A LOT and through it, I made it. These standards I'm putting down are brutal. It's harder than I ever conceived of to "undo" the damage from having been such a doormat, whatever the intention, the desire to be agreeable, "the consummate people pleaser" so lenient with people in regards to my own boundaries. The expectation that others are considerate as well.  The desire to offer others a choice to choose to be kind followed with the mentality of it's just "how I roll". See the good in people, offer everyone the opportunity to exercise their inherent goodness. humanKIND. Problem? I exercised too much flexibility and poor judgment (really dislike that word intensely, side note: Isn't it ironic that within my mediation I work on NON Judgement of everything that arises, so now I have to work on being non-judgmental with judgement) with the wrong crowd. Now? Now the clean up begins in earnest. My world, even smaller. I am down to the few on one hand I can count and my children remaining. I'm OK with that.  So the current boss has the compassion of a wet match and kindness that is outshone by a dried prune. So yeah, that's tough. But hey, here's where it counts right? Making this less difficult for the future and understanding why it is so hard right now. APPLYING THE LEARNING DURING THE LESSON. Life won't stay like this, that's the beauty of impermanence. The beauty of me? I am already feeling better because no matter what, I am one positive puppy. One very positive puppy. No one gets to hurt me anymore. So THERE! God has my back. Jesus on the left, Buddha to the front, Krishna to the right. I'm like so incredibly protected, plus there are like a zillion other prophets and teachers of the past and these times to call upon. I'm NEVER alone. There is so much to feed my spirit, so many outlets to strengthen my soul. This isn't it, this is just the beginning.

I've been working on my Kabbalah cards and A Course In Miracles. It's about the work I am committed to, and I am committed. This is a bump in the road. My past is a joke, really, it's where I should look to draw on my strength not feed my weaknesses. HELLO, I am brilliant to FINALLY get that. WOW, 39 + years. Better late than never. Fuck talk-therapy. I'm really done with it. Done with it all. No more dredging it up for anyone. I WANT TO LIVE RIGHT NOW IN THIS MOMENT! It's BEAUTIFUL. I can hear my heart beating, feel my eyelashes on my cheeks, feel my nose itch. I LOVE MY PRESENT.  I am not fucking around anymore. It's not "all or nothing", it's ALL AND ALL! I have a new job to locate.  A school to get accepted to. Housing and transportation to figure out and all on a budget of $12.00. This is a challenge NOT an obstacle!  The trick is finding the balance between this material world and my soul's spiritual realm ~ I operate on Love, Some do not hear, for them I shall speak their language, I don't like it, but it seems to be necessary. I was given a wonderful bit of insight I shall share,"God created the word YES and also the word NO, it's up to us to choose when to use each, and up to us to use both." Food for thought! Besides, what do I expect as the outcome? Unlimited GOODNESS ~ Yeah, I'm willing to work really damn hard for this life.

Goddess
God
I release the past, the sickness, the dis-ease
I am a beautiful exquisite soul, rising up, soaring higher
I feel your love, your guidance, your strength fill me
I accept my place, I acknowledge my worth

I am whole

Your Pure Daughter

P.S. Kids, Your Destiny is INFINITE LOVE ~ Express YOURSELF and BE FREE

Top 5 Things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Revelations
Epiphanies
Guidance
Knowledge
Valor

One Blessed Love,
K

Ryan Star - Breathe

David Cook - Time of My Life

What a wonderful world - LOUIS ARMSTRONG.

Incubus - Warning

The Goonies 'R' Good Enough

The sword and The shield ~

Life is too short to feel bogged down with guilt and shame. OVER WHAT? Does God really expect us to live out our quite short existence in this human form feeling horrible all the time. Are the sins of our past (who deemed us sinful to begin with I'd like to know, my best guess, a VERY HUMAN IDIOT!) really what we are? NO. The Buddhists have this part right on the money I'd say and that is that this thing called karma, it's the energy we put out towards others, other sentient beings, if it's not kind, not compassionate, well we will need to learn a humbling lesson to become kind and compassionate the next time we are introduced to the same situation and until we do we will learn over and over and over again.  I don't think it is quite as complex as my Buddhist brethern make it out to be. I mean I have it down to this:

One Commandment: Love One Another

One Sin: Separation from God

Karmic Law: Be Compassionate towards ALL Sentient Beings

Mormon Contribution: CTR - Choose the Right 

My bedtime prayer contributed tonight by Kahlil Gibran

You cannot ask for anything in prayer,
because God already knows your deepest needs.
As God is our main need,
so we should not pray for other things,
but ask for more of God.~ Kahlil Gibran

Goddess

God

Please hear my prayers,

I humbly ask for more:

wisdom

strength 

courage

perseverance

kindness

gentleness

honesty

openness

willingness

humility

miracles

forgiveness

love

You see my heart, I surrender my will.

Lead me, I shall follow 

By your Grace alone I am,

through your Love I will be

In this and in all things,

I thank thee ~

Your pure daughter

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:

Raising Hope

Mz. Pene

Mz. P

All things French

Miracles

P.S. Tu (yes dear daughter, that's you), I love u. I miss u. I thought I saw your face today, I was watching a movie, the little girl, she looked like you. The soft dark curls around the biggest eyes the warmest color of amber I've ever seen next to yours.  Even the lightest sprinkling of freckles on her face. You are so incredibly perfect. You have always been so strong and sure of yourself in so many ways. Outspoken yet with a heart that has the capacity to love the world. Oh my baby girl, I desire only for you to go, go and grow and spread your wings and shine, shine so brightly that those not able to stand in the light fall away and you are only surrounded with angels, angels like yourself. Your compassion doesn't all have to come from personal experience honey. Trust your sensitivity, your innate sense of right. Shine baby. Just shine... Vea, The man you are is the man your father has the potential of becoming. All of your goodness and generosity of spirit son and your genuine humility, you are teaching your father to become the man he was intended to be. You are your grandfather's son. I could not possibly be more proud of you, more in awe of you. I think to myself so often that I want to become a role model  to you both, to become the type of woman your sister would be proud to become and the type of woman you would be proud to marry. The truth is though, your sister is teaching me how a Divine woman behaves and you are teaching me and showing me what a Divine man looks like. Who a man is. From the first, you have been a prince. Now you have become a King.  Remember who is the sword and who is the shield.  Never forget the importance of each and the miracle of teamwork ~ Your father and I have faults yet I am remembering many strengths as well. I am reminded of them through you both. You have all of our goodness, all of your own, and all of the Divine Grace of God blessed upon your heads.  I am always loving you and always thinking of you, and if you ask yourselves,"Can that possibly be true that she ALWAYS does?" The answer is "Yes". That's one of the perks of being a bona fide nut job. I have at least a couple of spare people in my head and we ALL love you both very much.  In a "nutshell" (ha ha) one of the "someones" inside of me is always thinking of you two! I think that makes a crazy case of perfect sense. Regardless, I love you and that's the point I'm getting at. Today was a tough day. Knowing I can tell you both how much I love you in some way, getting the energy out there, the words out there, the prayers out there, it's all connected and this love I feel is connected to you.

Mom

Best Blog ~ http://danoah.com

Single Dad Laughing
http://www.danoah.com/


Thank you to my dearest friend Mz. Pene ;-) for sharing this amazing man and his blog with me.

LOVE IT ~

Sharing it with EVERYONE I can...

K

The Beatles - With A Little Help From My Friends

Better late than never ~

Hoi, it's 1 a.m. but I'm applying this towards yesterday's credit to karma! :)

Goddess
God

I asked for courage, I received it.
I asked for wisdom, I received that as well.
I asked for revelation, I received so much more.
"Thank you" hardly seems like enough,
two words to express a multitude of gratitude ~
My intention pure. My dedication sincere.


Your Pure Daughter

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Children's smiles
FAMILY (children and true friends, NOT to be mistaken for relatives)
Enlightenment
Memory
Sharing

P.S. Darling Daughter, I re-read an email from you just to absorb your essence, feel a part of your life. Son, I re-read old posts and delight in you and your sense of humor. You BOTH ALWAYS makes me smile! THANK YOU BOTH for including me in some way in your life. One day I will make YOU both proud. One day I will also tell you my story for it is yours as well. You are my family. You two, and a few close friends. That is all, that is enough. There is but this ONE TRUTH: I ADORE you BOTH and LOVE you BOTH and CHERISH you BOTH. I am working on a future that will include YOU BOTH.  When you are ready, my door and my heart will be open to you. Okay?  Enough "mushy" ~
Mom

Ron Pope - I Do Not Love You

Trevor Hall - The Lime Tree

Multi-tasker~

Gotta pee. TMI? Yeah, well. I gotta pee. HOWEVER, more important than that is the fact my shower is running because I am about to take a shower. Well, take a shower and wash my dishes. Yes, I shower and wash dishes at the same damn time. Don't tell me I can't multi-task! My bedtime prayer and final 5 take precedence though. So, here's looking at you kid! ;-)

Goddess
God
A Saturday night prayer bad poets style,
the best part is? I had to pee and still think awhile! :D

The miracle of life is a marvel, a marvel and a miracle...
We humans, we over-complicate everything don't we? Rhetorical!
I know, I'm having a heck of a human time-
It's been so very rough lately, I even lost my rhyme.
Though the fact remains it's all very clear,
we only ever needed love my dear ~


Your pure daughter

(oh fellow sentient beings, don't judge me!) ;-)

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for:
Hand held shower head
Hot water
Non-skid bath mat
Dish soap
Silliness

P.S. Kids, just a quick note from mom (still gotta pee but this is it for the night), life is too damn short to be serious all the time. Yes, it is hard but that doesn't mean it also has to be so difficult. Never miss the opportunity to laugh, to smile, and just live in THIS moment. Tomorrow isn't promised, but ONE thing is ALWAYS guaranteed: I WILL ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS love you both!  Mom

MICHAEL FRANTI - ANYBODY SEEN MY MIND.wmv

Ancient Syrian Proverb ~

Be humble, for you are made of earth. Be noble, for you are made of stars - Ancient Syrian Proverb

Etana - Don't Forget

Tres Importante ~

My bedtime prayer:
Goddess
God
There is a place so vast inside of me, new and foreign
a space that is endless and timeless, a place I have never before been
Trusting, having faith, I desire to become the epitome of openness and willingness
through this process of transference of will, I am embark on a quietness, a stillness
yet, still I am restless ~
Grant me the courage to follow through until the end, to hold on
I am but one, the obstacles many, yet through Grace I am strong
Allow me the wisdom, the discernment to trust my true self, the Divine...

Thank you. THANK YOU. I bow humbly in thanks for the many blessings I have received,
for the many blessings I continue to receive, for each day alone is a miracle
and I, a floundering soul in an all too human experience entrusting my heart now to thee,
for only in my true essence am I as you created me: Free, free to Love, free to Live...

Your Pure Daughter

Quick pick ~

Top 5:
Sleep
White Noise
Chamomile Tea
Eyelids
BED

One Blessed Love,
K

Day By Day - Etana - Free Expressions - 2011 - Reggae

The Beatles - All You Need is Love (HQ)

Have a heart ~

Found this on Facebook and had to post on here for the two who stole my heart the moment I laid eyes on them: My Shooting Star and Turtle King ~
It's from a children's book called You Are My I Love You by Maryann Cusimano
 


You are my the light of my life my children... All else, it simply pales in comparison.  The hurt, the pain, the sorrow of yesterdays and tomorrows, it's worth it to simply "be" in this world with each of you ~

Goddess
God
Thank you for shining so brightly upon my life,
Please forgive me for the times I  have doubted the Divine Plan
I have a purpose, I have a destiny, I have a place

My heart though tender is on the mend,
Again, I thank you for my blessed existence, I AM
Forever humbled, eternally entrusted to a Higher Calling

Love shine down upon me, lather me in your scent
Embrace me in your sweetness, lay next to me in your quietude...
Love is forgiveness. I forgive myself. I forgive others. I am Love,
Healing is so very beautiful and so utterly complete when love is the balm ~

Your Pure Daughter

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Forgiveness
Second Chances (3rd, 4th, and 5th too :))
Children (ALWAYS)
Miracles
Humility


One Blessed Love,
K

Etana - Nothing But Love

Wisdom from the Doctor ~

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

Refuse to ever use the term "failure" again about yourself or anyone else. Remind yourself that when things didn't go as planned you didn't fail, you only produced a result. Then ask yourself this powerfully life-enhancing question, "What am I going to do with the results I've produced?"

Sleep on it~

Sleep served me well I am glad to report. Though emotions did arise as I have learned they didn't break me, didn't consume me. It was cleansing and I followed through. I am free. I have freed myself for endless possibilities. In all areas now, I have scourged the darkness and sadness. I have exposed the raw recesses of my soul. I am ready now, to move on. Watch out world, your daughter is returning ~

Goddess
God
There are not words to express the thanks, the thanks for the pain
for the grey skies, the coldness, the bitterness, the rain
Without the elements I have least appreciated and least given thanks
there now springs new beginnings throughout once barren banks ~

Perhaps in the loving and in the letting go is where the deepest healing is intended to go,
applying virtues and morality when things are at the most bleak, that is faith. I believe it so.

Loving life through pain and strife. Can't have one without the other. Isn't that true, "Oh Wisest Mother?"
Through the cycle of life beginnings and endings we learn or we do not, it is our choice. I choose life.

Your pure daughter ~

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Sleep
Music
Poetry
Intentions
Resolve

P.S. You two, my Star and King, one day I will tell you a story. My story. Until then, this is all just bits and pieces but remember please one thing my greatest loves, you are the best part of my story. Live your life and love the life you live ~ I am always loving you. Mom

It's late ~

Need to sleep. Heart breaking. Earth quaking~
Goddess
God
Hear my cries, see my tears, they are relentless
know my hurt, feel my pain, it is endless
where did I go wrong this time, all else is good
my heart is broken, over nothing that is should ~
No more reaching out for naught...
six months later and i am caught~
fuck it ~ it's my love, my heart, my LIFE ~
my children are IN IT, all else is inconsequential now
I have goals, I have dreams, over that I am soaring,
the rest, that one, how or why I don't know but it's searing, searing my soul
my soul, so alone and alone so very okay, only when I remember when does the IF come up anyways...
FUCK


Life makes so much more sense when it's erratic and hard, heavy metal, punk rock for the soul
i get that, it's detached and yet a great place to pound out the energy and then just REST

I am sleeping now
I don't know how

tomorrow I will revisit this pain
until then, FUCK all that is the same

I loved him when no one should have been allowed in, i loved him, it felt like a sin, until it didn't ...

I really loved him
FUCK

Your pure daughter

Top 5 things I am grateful for today:
Truth
Kindness
Love
Dancing
Clarity (no matter how much it fucking hurts)

One Blessed Love,
K

Anne Murray-Danny's song

Oh no I didn't forget! ~

Amazing news today. The Federal Government has accepted my application to go back to school. I am thankful VERY thankful. In appreciation I am not "partying it up" I am "praying it up". This is THE MOST IMPORTANT TIME to PRAY and say "THANK YOU".

Goddess
God
There doesn't seem to be a word to define
this feeling bubbling deep inside, it's teasing this memory of mine
I believe it's hope that is rising up to greet me
it's been so long since I've dreamed, longer since it's gaze I did see

HOPE ~ It springs eternal. Like love, only shy and tender. The yearning of what is to come. No expectation. Just, Hope. That IS enough for now. That IS enough and yet so much more for what is sweeter than a dream? A dream one never thought to have again, to dream when one no longer sleeps. Quite miraculous really. I am awake. I am dreaming. Thank you ~

Your pure daughter.


Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Dreams
Goals
Possibilities
Support
LOVE

One Blessed Love,
K

P.S. Twinkle twinkle little STAR, oh how I wonder HOW you are... Yertle, the turtle King, King of the pond, I look for you always, both here and beyond... Mom

AMAZING TALENT! Wolfman teaches wolf pup to howl

Now I lay me down to sleep ~

Such the line from a Metallica song but hey, who said God isn't in Heavy Metal too??? :)

I really am going to sleep. An eventful and very productive day. Tomorrow is Day 1 in the kitchen. Wish me luck!!! LUCK. I don't only talk to myself, I answer as well. It's a talent.

On to my bedtime prayers...

Goddess
God
Today I saw your hand in all that surrounded me,
from blade of grass, to the very tallest of the trees...
From birds singing to the sun shining bright,
everywhere I looked, there was only love in sight...

Thank you for blessing today with your most gracious gift. Love.

My heart is open. My heart is willing. Lead me. Guide me. I shall follow. I shall serve.

Your pure daughter ~

Top 5 things I am thankful for today:
Mz. P
Bob Marley
Kindred Spirits
Mary Mary
Discernment

One Blessed Love,
K

P.S.
Star child. Today, I thought of you while I was working and I wondered,"What is my daughter doing right now? Is she happy? Is she at church? With Grandma? What is she thinking? What does she dream about?"
My son. You are the man of my heart. Know that is your place within me. I adore you both so very much. Mom

Bedtime Prayer ~

Goddess ~
God ~
With all my I am I surrender my will to you -
I am on my knees, humbled by your love ~
Your Grace has freed me from my bondage -
I give thanks for the honor to exemplify your goodness ~

Gentle
Kind
Loving
Sweet
Heartfelt

I am a pure daughter of God.

Top 5 things I am thankful for today:
Respect
Fortitude
Discernment
True Friendship
Boundaries

One Blessed Love,
K

P.S. My sweet and most beautiful shining Star, wherever you are my darling daughter, know I am thinking of you. Now and always. AND for you my beloved son, know I am proud of the man you are becoming and can think of no greater gift than your presence in this world. Mom ~

PETER CETERA - GLORY OF LOVE

God didn't forget me ~

I won't forget today for a long long time...
Someday I will write about the day I found my true inner voice and let it be heard. Right now I'm in a bit of shock and need some time to process things. Baby steps...

Goddess
God
I thank thee for my every waking hour
for the strength to open my heart
and the willingness to share it ~
Thank you for the Grace that shines upon me
for the love that envelopes me
and the presence of your light ~

Your pure daughter -

Top 5 things I am thankful for today:
Strength
Courage
Wisdom
Grace
Willingness

One Blessed Love,
K

Taming of the shrew ~

How to demonstrate kindness? BE KINDNESS! How to demonstrate love? BE LOVE!
The best teachers are those that lead by example. The best leaders are those who go into battle before their men and are the last to leave the field ~ Am I a teacher and a leader? I am preparing to become one. It is so very difficult. Drawing boundaries, learning to express needs gently. This is my intention.  I must listen so I may fulfill my higher purpose. I fear loss of stability, yet I know it is an illusion. An illusion I have come to appreciate more than ever. The illusion opened the doors for my children and I to reconnect. There are so many other excuses. Including the rather narrow perception that one person has my lady balls in a vice. HOWEVER, this is THE TIME. I must now stand tall, stand firm, and stand true.I must let go and allow GOD. PERIOD.  There are obstacles and there are just really wide parts of the river. Which is it? Either a difficult crossing or a seemingly impossible one. Are circumstances and adversity enough to stop me now? It has been feeling like it might hinder my progress. I have felt stuck. I know better. I have survived my own personal apocalypse. Now I must give back this gift of life by doing what is right. This is when it counts. The chips are down, I am alone. Now is when I must trust in God and have faith in this process ~  Shit I am so very scared. Terrified is more like it. Yet, I am preparing, not to sharpen a sword or my tongue, (metaphorically speaking) but soften my heart. This isn't the time to present the steel but share the soft warmth of my spirit and envelope that which has been revealed to me in a loving embrace. Facing my fears with compassion. Now I understand. It was not just a metaphor. An enemy has no power if it has no hate to spread. I won't accept the spreading of this dis-ease of non-affirming toxicity.

I AM PEACEFUL WITH MY EMOTIONS AND I LOVE AND APPROVE OF MYSELF AND OTHERS. FORGIVENESS IS A NATURAL STATE OF MY BEING. LOVE IS WHO I AM AND WHAT I AM.

Oh God, hear my prayer. I ask for the space within to be filled with your Divine Grace and allow me to be the vessel to demonstrate loving kindness to all other sentient beings (one specific!). Please guide me and strengthen me to act and not to react. For my heart to lead. For my love to speak. In this way I am both truthful and honest. In this way I am the essence of life. I am a pure daughter of God.

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:
CHILDREN (always and forever)
Opportunities for growth
Movies
Cactus Pancakes
LOVE

One Blessed Love,
Kathleen

The Beatles - All You Need is Love (HQ)

Faith Chronicles ~

I realized that everyday is a chronicle of faith. Each day God graces me with the opportunity to have faith in the process. Today I learned it. It's either sink or swim sweetheart (I hear in Byron Katie's confident and compassionate voice). I sunk yesterday to the bottom. I nearly drowned. Yet nearly isn't doing so here is to the impermanence of it all! Cheers to the fears and good riddance for once and for all because this lil lady is going to learn to stand tall!!! Self-motivation with a theme and rhyme. I shoulda gone into Hallmark Cards but I couldn't find the time. HA ha HA.

Nicely reminiscent of the Princess Bride (one of my ALL TIME favorite movies---EVER). :D

To my kids should I end of jobless and houseless it is because I chose to stand up for myself (appropriately I might interject).  This battle is for integrity. I have it. I do come with amazing references from the people who matter. Specifically, the people I help. The rest? Well it is what it is. Nothing more, nothing less. It's time to trust the process and place ALL of my faith in GOD. I put ALL my eggs in THIS basket. How about I relabel my basket GOD and try this again? Ah, the things I can work out, by myself for myself amazes even me! I am going to be a mighty fine communicator one day, either that or a great pen pal! lol...

Time to get to the bit where I am SO VERY thankful and truly SO VERY grateful for this life and all it entails, even the painfully hard stuff.  These most trying and difficult of moments are what make it worth it because for every obstacle I overcome and acknowledge the GRACE that guided me, the miracles unfold all around. Time to set my intentions. Feed my spirit. Love my neighbor and LET GOD ~

Top 5 things I am grateful for today:
Continuity
Hugs
Togetherness
Sympathy
Wonder

One Blessed Love,
K

P.S.
I received my deck of 72 cards. The Power of Kaballah (Technology for the Soul).
First card: What do our hearts truly desire? It would be safe to say that the primary objective of our desire is uninterrupted happiness, although happiness may mean something different to each person.
Q: What does happiness mean to you? What would make you happy?
Happiness means peace to me. A profound gladness to simply "be". Without judgement. Without criticism. To be present with what is and be glad for whatever arises. Harmony ~
What would MAKE me happy? Unity

Simple Prayer ~

Oh God
Oh Goddess
I come to you with thanks in my heart,
in love and appreciation for all of creation
Please fill me with your Grace,
and guide me with your Light ~

Your Daughter

...

Catching up ~

Injuries and manifestations ~
Chipped teeth, splintered shin bone, metal embedded in skin, burned fingers...
Tough last week on the mountain for sure!
HOWEVER, I AM still HERE and I am ALIVE...
Need to remind myself of ALL THAT I HAVE and stop focusing on what is not working...
I am taking the necessary strides and steps to be the most successful ME...
Compassion towards self, love towards others...
We are all in this oh so very human experience together...
As I create space within and acknowledge my feelings straight away instead of getting stuck in a loop in my head I allow greatness to shine through...
It is painful. I am raw. YET, here I am at 5 a.m. with a smile upon my face and a life full of GRACE ~

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today (so far):
Music
Bodhi
Space
Hot Water
COFFEE (for 4:30 a.m. wake-up calls I need fuel!) :D

One Blessed Love ~
K

Etana - People Talk [OFFICIAL HD]

Just a thought ~

if i believe God created me and that God is within me
then wouldn't God want the very best for me?
wouldn't EVERYONE therefore deserve
something AWESOME in their life?
would u expect less from GOD?
then why the fuck would i?

Top 5 Things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Honesty
Truthfulness
Compassion
Memories
Music. Sweet Music.

What a day. What a rush. I love working with people. I forget when there are no retreats up here. It's surreal how my old abilities just kick it. It's natural. Cohesive, it's my element. I do truly love people and these people are safe. We are ALL here on a spiritual journey and here to be safe as we learn to be compassionate towards our own very human suffering. Learning to live in the moment. To be in harmony. We all desire the same result. It's so incredibly difficult sometimes. I worry about my kids. Should I stay? Should I go. Should I? Should I? Should? It's the constant questions on so many levels. Then it hits me after a day or so of that nonsense to just sit back and enjoy the ride. I have goals, wonderful and very realistic goals. This is no easy place to be. Literally and Figuratively. I have memories resurfacing from when I was 3 years old and 5 years old and 9 years old. It's unnerving. Yet necessary. So GOD if you're ready I am setting my intentions and handing the reigns over. I am continually practicing preventative measures and being proactive today for tomorrow but NO MORE PLANNING! It's futile and ridiculous. I swear sometimes I can hear God chuckle. That's not voices in my head talking, it's GOD, LAUGHING! :D Beautiful world.  we live in... We need to take care of it though. Take care of each other...  Love thy neighbor...

"Heal The World"

There's A Place In
Your Heart
And I Know That It Is Love
And This Place Could
Be Much
Brighter Than Tomorrow
And If You Really Try
You'll Find There's No Need
To Cry
In This Place You'll Feel
There's No Hurt Or Sorrow

There Are Ways
To Get There
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
Make A Better Place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

If You Want To Know Why
There's A Love That
Cannot Lie
Love Is Strong
It Only Cares For
Joyful Giving
If We Try
We Shall See
In This Bliss
We Cannot Feel
Fear Or Dread
We Stop Existing And
Start Living

Then It Feels That Always
Love's Enough For
Us Growing
So Make A Better World
Make A Better World...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

And The Dream We Were
Conceived In
Will Reveal A Joyful Face
And The World We
Once Believed In
Will Shine Again In Grace
Then Why Do We Keep
Strangling Life
Wound This Earth
Crucify Its Soul
Though It's Plain To See
This World Is Heavenly
Be God's Glow

We Could Fly So High
Let Our Spirits Never Die
In My Heart
I Feel You Are All
My Brothers
Create A World With
No Fear
Together We'll Cry
Happy Tears
See The Nations Turn
Their Swords
Into Plowshares

We Could Really Get There
If You Cared Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
To Make A Better Place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me

Heal the world we live in, save it for our children
Heal the world we live in, save it for our children
Heal the world we live in, save it for our children
Heal the world we live in, save it for our children

Michael Jackson

K

brian mcknight - win

Ace of Base - Life Is A Flower