Random Thoughts ~

Unbuddhist Buddhist

Non-zense

Vat of Mango Pudding

"Walking down the street with my chicken and a 40..." ~ Afroman

Werewolf Heat

More Randomness TBA


Goddess, God ~
Humbled and awakened. I am listening. Open and willing I am seeing. Thank you for answering my prayers  Thank you for giving me everything I need.
Your Daughter

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Family (Galbraith Clan)
Sundays
Ocean
Friends (Mary, Pam, Musette, Farrah...)
Funnies

P.S. Kids, stay tuned. Mamma is making changes. Time to start living this life, my life. Right thought and right action will lead to the right life ~ The first 40 years of childhood are the hardest, so hang on kiddos, I'm just getting started! xo, Mom

Morning Thanks ~

I woke up this morning. THANK YOU GOD!

Love ~

I am to define love tonight? I believe in love because...

Love? I am totally raw right now. Love is the one thing I do NOT want to talk about. I think of love and I think of being wrapped in a cocoon of gentleness and sweetness of such a magnitude that it makes you weep with the very thought of such goodness. Tonight, I am raw. 

Goddess ~ The allure of love, is not the act of love. Thank you for clarification. Thank you for demonstration. Thank you.

God ~ Thank you for answering all of my prayers.

Your Daughter

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:

Amy

Examples

Confessions

SUNSHINE

Little Buddhas

P.S. Hoppy Easter. Love, Mom

Homework ~

So here is what I learned today:
I am mature
I am wise
Neither of these things are doing shit all for my disposition as I sit here in my pink fuzzy bunny hat contemplating why I picked now of all times to grow up. Grrr... mental eye roll, mental eye roll.

I am going to be working on a few things this next week. It just so happens I have exactly one week to do this, starting tomorrow. Today I was assigned the homework. Let's not be too hasty here.

I am going to be defining the life I need. To do that I will be examining 7 words I wrote down on Saturday night that are now known as my "life trigger words". What I am going to do is examine what each of these words means to me in my life.  The words are: Love, Unity, Divine Spark, Sweetness, Compassion, Kindness, and Virtue.  (Mary gave me the assignment. I have a problem and this is how I will find the solution. Yay me!)

What am I going to do right now? Thank GOD for this amazing opportunity to learn and grow and become wiser and more mature. Thank GOD for this life and all of the incredible beauty all around. Thank GOD for amazing friends and their children. Thank GOD for my children and their families. Thank GOD just because I am thankful. So very thankful.

Thank you God. Thank you Goddess.
Your Daughter

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Yoga
Reflection
Chances
Sisterhood
Children

(ONE VERY SPECIAL THANK YOU AND GRATITUDE AWARD TO MISS MARY, "YOU ARE A FUCKING ROCK STAR AND A PROPHET WOMAN!")

P.S. Kids, today was something, something special and beautiful and wonderful and all full of grown-up appreciation and a kind of wonder I will never quite understand that I think must be Magic. I miss you both.  I would love to share the magic of this mountain while I am still here. Everyday I stop making this life so difficult it gets better. I accept I did that a lot. I am once again so sorry you both suffered because of my choices. Loving you always. Mom

Katie Herzig - Butterfly

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyPrVxHN9V8

Housed in love ~

There may just be such a  thing as home being where the heart is after all. We shall see. Someone gave me a hug today. It felt like: Home

Goddess ~ Blessed Be

God 

Let me keep this feeling a day or two or perhaps a lifetime or three. An eternity? I only ever felt this when my children were born. Calm and safe and secure in the unknown because they were in my arms and we were together. Is this the same? Is this love? Thank you for whatever it is for it has brought me closer to you. Closer to my true essence. Gentler, kinder, and more loving ~ Thank you. 

Your Daughter

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:
My silly mind
Contemplation
Correlation
HUGS
Maturity

P.S. I love you two. I think something happened today. If it did, well I will let you know. Be well my children. I love you, Mom

John Mellencamp - Peaceful World

Snatam Kaur & Peter Kater ~ Just to Know You

One little poem or two ~

Where words can mean everything and words can mean nothing I sit with one word: LOVE

Straight from the heart, One word is true: Love
The miracle of truth is it can not be shielded from the heart
Ah, the heart, the one place truth flourishes and nourishes
Where honesty can fail from lips to ears, most especially in these times
Love is the only language all can hear ~
Straight from the heart, One word is true: Love

Love found me ~
In sickness I found health
In despair I found hope
In rejection I found acceptance
In darkness I found light
In disbelief I found faith
In indifference I found empathy
In coldness I found compassion

P.S. Children of mine. There is nowhere I will not love you anywhere and everywhere.

Goddess ~ I am all four, tonight I am one. Guide me...

God

I am on bended knees. I give you my foolish ego and my foolish pride. Mold me. Shape me. I surrender. I am your daughter. I give you my fears. You are home. You are heart. You are love. 

Holding On, Holding Out ~

There is such a thing as holding on too tightly. Holding on to a dream, a belief, even a thought so tightly there is no room for anything else. I have been doing this. Most especially with my children. It's going to happen as it's going to happen. However they show up, however they decide to come to me is how it will be. Today, I move on from remaining in a place where the phone and the internet are a constant distraction due to one thought,"What if they contacted me?" It's not healthy to remain in that place and I am not living life fully remaining there. Today I let go of that.  Life doesn't have to be so very difficult. Time to start practicing what I preach (still sensitive about that word) and be fully in each moment.

Ahhhh, beautiful life, here I am again, back in the saddle. Shedding another layer of skin, old skin, skin that no longer serves me.

Goddess ~ Here I stand exposed, raw, and naked. Deliver my heart back to me. Please.

God 

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Your Daughter

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:

Maximum Hope

Sweetness

Pink

Tulips

Ruth

P.S. I love you. Mom

My true inspiration ~

I spoke to my daughter last night. It was the first time in months. I've tried writing both children and to no avail. I don't ever know if they read my messages or emails. I went the direct route last night and was able to speak to my daughter. My heart I thought would break.  I went down the heart break road with her, through her, because of her, because of me. There was an indescribable moment off sheer pain so big I thought it would destroy me. I thought I would not live through it, yet here I am now, a new day. I have just one message for you, my daughter: Please believe. Until you believe again I will believe for the both of us. I love you. Until you love again I will love for the both of us. Mom

Goddess, God
There is only one prayer in my heart right now: Please protect my children. 

Sum whole ~

Sometimes I believe people come into our lives to remind us of who we are. To reflect our most inherent virtues. Our loving attributes. To mirror our innermost truth. It is wonderful when we are able to acknowledge our own goodness. I was reminded tonight that "right action" for one may not be "right action" for another. What is "right" for one is not necessarily right for another. The example to quote my dear new friend was in stating that "wholesomeness" for one may be a dungeon mistress. I quite agree. It's the judgement of others that dictates THEIR thoughts on what is considered right in someone else's life. Living our lives for others I do not believe is the focus of life. Nor should it be. (My life goal is stop with the "shoulds" and the judgement associated with it). It's the focus of OUR life, looking within to see what our own personal value set it, what our "wholeness" is, that would equivocate our "wholesomeness" as our "rightness" with our own self would be well, WHOLE, complete. I think that will make sense when I reread it, edit it, and perhaps sleep on it. Regardless it is a thought, and well, it's just a thought. Period. :)

Exhausted doesn't cover what I am feeling. A gambit of emotions, the boss lady was back in her more "difficult" form today and raring to go a round or two with me. In love I acted, and did not react. I did stand firm and true to my boundaries and caring for myself and my safety (yep there's a story). I am not messing around. This is not about regression, it's about progression. I am moving forward. God brought me this far. I'm not getting stuck again. Nope. Nope. Nope.  Ending this with all the love in my heart ~

Goddess ~ You ignite me. I am woman. 

God

You have not let me down. You have not failed me. I am yours. I exalt thee. Hear my thanks. 

Your daughter

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Joy
Grace
Challenges
Comedy
Sisterhood

P.S. Have I told you lately that I love you children of mine? Hmm, well perhaps I have, but saying it again and again does not get old. On that note: I LOVE YOU ~ Mom

Extreme - More Than Words

Smashing Pumpkins - Beautiful

Shift Happens ~

I really do not believe in coincidence. I think I am being permitted to "think" I have connected the dots. Truth? God knows I made a huge mess of things before so this time around I get the CLEAR choice. Like, "Follow the yellow brick road" and LITERALLY a yellow brick road appears. I am ready for change and have opened my heart and life to God's plan. Well revelation happened, it just so happens NONE of it is in line with what I THOUGHT was the way things were going. What a shock! ha ha ha ha ha HA. Oh, this life has just become even more ridiculously wonderful. I'm in it, I am accepting it. Living within it and learning to love every moment of it. Just a little shift in perception and voila, a whole new world is introduced to us.

Oh the group that left today, the month long retreat, will be so very missed by little ole' me. Such a precious and sweet group of people. I truly fell in love with each and every single person on that retreat. I was crying when the shuttle came to collect them.  We did the group hug thing and separate hugs, even the shuttle driver was not to be left out. One of my co-workers said it must be hormones, I said,"Nope, that's just me." I don't think everyone gets I am really mushy and do in fact love like that, all the way, with no reserve. That's just how I roll baby. That's just how I roll. I love loving. Fact is I'm just finally in a safe place right now with the support that allows demonstrative affectionate loving. I dig it. One of the biggest perks about this job. Even finding love, new love for the boss lady. I may be too trusting, or maybe it's just that I understand holding a grudge is futile, I don't know, but loving her is a hell of a lot more my gig than not. I choose love, that's just who I am. I have come a long way and still have a long way to go, and let me reiterate, I have absolutely nothing figured out, but one thing I do know is I operate out of love, and I don't ever want to change that. Loving people IS my comfort zone.

Goddess ~ Thank you for answering on such short notice. I felt the absolute truth from a totally different perception and I am living it now. I accept it. I love it. I really love it. THANK YOU!!!

God

You who heard my unspoken prayer. Who saw into my heart and showed me a life I never imagined for myself. A glimpse at something so much bigger. I am awake. I am aware. I am aware I am awake.  It's me and you God. You've got me and I've got you. I THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH. I am your vessel. I am your daughter. I AM because YOU ARE. That's a beautiful truth, that's my beautiful truth ~

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Dreams
Belonging
Glimpses
Celestial Bodies
Love

P.S. My two angels, my two celestial bodies of my deepest soul, I love you. Oh how I love you. More than words. More than words. 'Ofa 'atu fau ~ Mom

Alive in the world - Jackson Browne -

Northward Bound ~

I had a flash today of how my life could be. It was everything I have been saying "never" to and about for the past 2 1/2 years + a lifetime of "nevers" in regards to very specific things. Vague but hey I am not feeding something energy (that has some residual fear or anxiety attached to it) that may very well be the best thing, besides being a mother to my children, that has ever happened to me in my life so far. It's like I felt a hat being placed upon my head to get used to the weight. The feel of this specific hat. Definitely feels Divinely Inspired. I am trusting my intuition. I even looked up a couple of things on the World Wide Web of Factual Information (ha ha), just a little very human fact checking. It all pans out. I'm ready for this new life, well, totally ready except those last ten pounds I re-shed over winter, the yoga regime that isn't as tight on the physical side as it was two months ago before I fell, and blah blah blah blah blah.... Really, who am I kidding? I have school, and blah blah blah blah blah, nothing figured out, but goals and intentions SET. The rest as I keep saying, much like a MANTRA, is totally up to God. God's plan. My heart is open. I am ready. I think I was just turned around. I have been so set on getting back down Southward, the islands: SOUTH, this country: SOUTH, south, south, south. I need to look North. Towards new possibilities, a new outlook, a new me in a new Northern Experience. I am open and willing. I wasn't even open and willing a short while ago. Now in 40 degree weather I AM THE ONE WEARING FLIP-FLOPS. Oh my. My internal GPS is still on the fritz, ha ha, but acclimation is going quite well (as of the past 45 days). I'm going to stop now because I just started wearing this hat and lovely as it is to know my world is about to get tossed upside down, I still need to rest. Big day tomorrow checking out the retreatants after a month. Oh how I will be sad to see them go. I just love each and every one of them. This next retreat is full of ample growth opportunity and grow I will. Only two weeks, I can do it. I have yoga, an amazing network of supportive friends, animals, and sunshine (sometimes just in my soul, but it works).

Goddess ~ I ask for the strength of the Feminine Divine.  Please hold me, strengthen me, and guide me to your express purpose. I am your faithful daughter. In all my imperfections and the mirror of your perfection. I thank you for your infinite wisdom ~

God

Thank you for this life. This shift, this change, in myself, and in the beyond.  I give you my worry, my strife, my unresolved difficulties, and exchange them for a purity of mind and body and spirit. Renewed in Divine Love, Strengthened in Divine Grace ~  Your Daughter

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:

Hats

Bonding

Confidence

Humility

Growth

P.S. Hello my children. Mom here. I don't have a clue where I am being led right now, but it's somewhere, and somehow, someway you will both be better for wherever God leads my life. I love you two so very much. I long to hold you. I am here. Here, will always be the place I am for you both. I am your mom. Besides that very significant bit of information (makes me all warm and fuzzy. :)), is the fact that even as unbiased as I can possibly be, the truth is you are both so incredibly fantastically amazing. You are people I would be honored to know in my life. You inspire me to never give up, never stop hoping, and never stop trying. I love you so very much. Always, Mom

John Cruz with Jack Johnson & Jackson Browne - Island Style (from Best o...

Only Love Is Real - Carole King

Raindrops on windows ~

Whew, what a day. More like a day and a half. I've been talking in halves a lot lately. One whole is simply not enough and I'm trying to stay within the "honest" and "truthful" boundaries so rounding up is a bit too much of an exaggeration. So, it's a day and a half. I've been up since 3 a.m., 3:07 to be exact. I woke up at midnight the first time, then PRAYED it was before 2 a.m. so I could at the LEAST get in a couple more hours before the alarm went off. I was in luck, or blessed with good fortune rather and it was in fact 11:51 p.m. HOWEVER, I didn't exactly make that request clear apparently, because I woke up before I had to. This is not a good thing when I am on a rather sleep deprived schedule as it is and wake up is at 5 a.m. at the LATEST, on Tuesdays now it is @ 4:45 a.m. Although the pain has receded since the fall, and on days there has even been none or maybe it's more like I've gotten used to it and that's a bummer and a half (he he 1/2). Anyways, it's not that big of a deal, I've had worse this is just a different kind of worse. I went in today to see a new dentist, on my own, and was fitted for a bottom mouth guard that should tide me over until I have a job with dental, after my contract ends here. In about 6-12 months, give or take, um, yeah. Well this has all been a very expensive and vague lesson learned (seriously don't want to give this situation, past situation, any more energy). In the future, I look out for myself, and that's not being selfish, that's being smart.  Coulda woulda shoulda. I'm right HERE, right NOW. Moving on. Hey I like this new life. Besides, I'm handing this all off to God, officially. Whew, what a day ~

I'm going to go to bed.

Goddess ~ Thank you for showing me where I have been. I bow to your infinite wisdom. The time you have prepared me for has arrived. Love, peace, and faith ignite ~

God

You brought me this far. I'm ready to rest for the rest ~

Your Daughter

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Sleep
Yoga
Music
Perception
Direction

P.S. I was bragging on you two today. My new(est) Dentist is 1/2 and 1/2 LDS (more halves). His dad and a couple of siblings are non-LDS and his mom and a couple of siblings are LDS. It works in his family. Gave me hope. I love you more than the night loves the moon and more than the day loves the sun. That much and more ~ Mom

Jewel - Hands (Official Video)

Bee-utiful ~

" The Bee is the symbol of accomplishing the impossible."

http://www.linsdomain.com/totems/pages/bee.htm

Both my dear Muse and I encountered a run in with a bee. Mine was not quite as intense as I am pretty sure the bee she encountered today got to 2nd or more like 2 1/2 base with her. Talk about a thorough inspection. I had a buzz by two days ago. She had a thorough body search. Quite interestingly was the fact I was on the phone with her when this "Beautiful Golden Egyptian Nugget" (I'm paraphrasing Muse's eloquent description) flew by, flew right by her mouth in fact, because I HEARD the bee through her phone's microphone. It was very "mammal" sounding, more like a very loud purr. Surreal yes, magical, yes. Momentous, yes.  So I looked up the animal totem meaning for the bee. Guess what? It's quite beautiful, or is it BEE-utiful? Just to think I was so allergic to these amazing creatures I had to carry an epi pen around with me. Life is quite amazing. Proof positive of impermanence. Love it!

Goddess ~ There is a feeling, something growing and glowing deep within. I embrace my feminine Divinity ~

God

There was a list not so long ago of things I longed to ask for. Just recently I included in those requests specific attributes. I asked for strength and bravery, courage and even help to be more capable. I am realizing more and more it's all right here, within me. You created me with everything I need, and more. Now I must unlearn, to relearn. I've lost myself to find myself. I've been recreated or rather am being created for a higher purpose. A life to live. Faith to give. Thank you for the privilege to thank you. \

I love you Oh Sweet Creator, Divine Spark of my Soul ~ 

Your Daughter

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:

A-MUSE-MENT

BEE-UTIFUL MOMENTS

Meditation

Yoga

Contentment

P.S. Checked you both out today, via my pictures. I was marveling at your absolute perfection. My favorite picture is when you were both dressed up for the Valentine's Day/Back to School dance for Liahona. Munch you were wearing my/your 50s style black and white polka dot dress and you wore it with a red sash, and you son wore a red bow tie (you insisted). You my Star Child are staring up at your big brother, The Turtle King, with your hand on your hip and a twinkle in your eye. Son, you were just so adorably handsome. So confident and just your own sweet selves. No agenda, just sparkling. Sparkling so brightly. I love the smiles. I could go on. Bottom line: I am so proud of you both. I love you both. Mom

Spearhead - Of Course You Can

Afternoon Delight ~

Saving Grace - Everlast

Soldier - Ingrid Michaelson

Rachael Yamagata - Elephants (Video)

Bhakti ~

Goddess ~ I am.
God ~ I am.

I thank you.
Your Daughter

Top 5 things I am most GRATEFUL for today:
God
Yoga
Devotion
Flowers
Sunshine

P.S. I love you. Mom

Anthem - Leonard Cohen

Lean On Me

It's about that time ~

Wonderful night last night. Kirtan Love. Ohhhh, I have the chills just thinking about it. Mz. P's birthday blast was last night and of course the ONE time I really need my camera, I forget about it and leave it in the birthday girl's purse. There were 6 of us total including Mary Mary. Total reunion and new friends bonding. Wonderful evening. I ended up with a gluten contamination though. The one real bummer. Oh besides the fact the Chinese restaurant we KNEW served AMAZING and SAFE food and INCREDIBLE "adult beverages" was CLOSED. Bastards. Ping's a.k.a. Hung Far Low is closed. Seriously gut hurt right now. OW! However, I am cheerful as fuck. Swearing even. Ha ha. I am the trooper. Whoopie! Oh, sarcastic too. I must be getting better. He he. I am accepting I am just very limited in what I can eat when going out. Lesson learned. Note to self: Ask to speak to the chef when in doubt to verify the type of flour used myself. Oi, what a pain in the ass. I guess I will become a "salad eater" when I go out, unless it's Sushi, or an Indian restaurant (where I know the owners REALLY well). The pain and damage to my intestines and quality of life are not worth the risk. Not to mention I get really nuts, like multiple additions to the already ample personalities shoved inside this amazing fun sized packaging. I still can't believe I made it through work. Yet, here I am. Tired and finally laying back into a cloud of pillows. I love pillows. Pillows make me happy. Pillows and sunshine and unicorns and rainbows and islands and yoga toes and loving friends and my babies, oh and puppies and bunnies. Yes, those are all definitely my happy places.

I have had a lot of deep insights lately. From acknowledging that the last 2 1/2 years of my life are the only ones I have had abuse free in my entire life. Kinda amazing. Right? A few slip ups along the way and some contributing moments of self-destruction early on, old habits and all that jazz. Seriously, I have a whole new life. It will only be difficult if I make it so. I have friends I am beginning to really trust are who they claim to be, are who they represent themselves to be. I am beginning to really see that even in this material world there are those who may offer some solace and safety for this little heart of mine. I see that there is a "One Person" for me.  Where, who, how, when is all a mystery. I just feel CLOSER to this possibility, this probability. It's not so freaky, a little bit, knowing that there is someone I will give every part of myself to, all of my trust, yet this time, with all of me, who I am now. It's the preparation for this that is so very difficult Being difficult as opposed to hard because of all my wrong choices. Just to reference the quantity of bad choices or poor choices, or decisions resulting in a magnitude of opportunity for growth (my favorite way to put it), let me put it this way: the internet isn't even big enough to house those volumes of "wrong doing". I have had the wonderful honor of speaking to quite a few women (and men) who have found the "one" after heartache and heartbreak, with similar stories.  These brave and loving souls describe this trust, this knowledge of absolute certainty that this man (or woman) will not ever do anything to destroy them nor intentionally seek to harm them. The kindness, the acceptance, and the gentleness described in such a way, I can't help but feel or rather hear the Divine hand of God within these stories of love. It is with affirmation I hear now. Not with the sad ear that it won't ever happen to me, or even that I won't allow it to because of fear but now with the knowledge I am closer, God has brought me closer. Whoever this amazing and most phenomenal creature is will love me so utterly and so completely there will be no judgement. This I know. It's the total acceptance, the gift of love. The giving in the loving. That is what I have never had. I have had all the wrong kinds of  love, with two exceptions. The love I have for my children and God.  Now, I am ready for the right kind. Because of my experiences I won't be the one to squander it, to waste a precious moment. Already I am thankful for what will be. I thought of making a list and making sure I qualify these "specifications" and realized how silly it is to think (ha ha) that I am in control. I am "Open and Willing" to God's plan. I have my own personal and professional goals and intentions set. Yet right now, I'm talking about Divine Love. Do any superficial physical aspects really matter? REALLY? It's the soul. Does anything really matter? It's the soul.  It's all about the soul. Hell I never cared about the rest anyways. Is location a deal breaker? Are looks that important? Isn't faith all that is required? Do superficial things, physical attributes really matter? Things like height? All the men in my life have been taller and not a one of them actually protected me  So, bottom line. Let the best man in. He will be the right one. The one who will love my children through me and when they are ready to enter my life and share their lives with me, he will welcome them with open arms. That man, the one whose kindness and gentleness will cause me to weep. Who will not mock me, or strike me, or degrade me, or disrespect me, or belittle me, or ridicule me, or harm me, or judge me, or blame me, or ever be ashamed of me. The one who will be faithful in all things. The one who will declare his love for me from the highest mountain top. The one who will cherish me and adore me. The one who will see me, really see me and know that as I am, I am enough. The one who is an inherent gentleman, GENTLE-MAN. The best analogy is when I was last asked what does the "man for me" look like? My answer: The man that places me inside the car first, as to ensure my safety and security before himself.  The man that looks at me like he's waited for the moment when he would meet me for his life to begin. The man that is grateful to have me by his side. The man who longs for me, yearns for me, and burns for me and expresses his desire. Who shows his deep admiration for my simply being The one who delights in me. The one...

Wow, didn't know that big revelation from my heart of hearts was going to come creeping out onto my little fingertips. Yet, here it is. I did state a no more bullshit clause not too long ago. What the hell. This is my life!  Someday I will share that life. Until then. I will happily continue on, growing, learning, loving, sharing, and caring. Never again will I be less than amazing. That's the beauty of all these hardships.  I have survived it, lived it, and now created something wonderful out of it all: ME ~ Pretty fucking amazing alright?

Goddess ~ She is free, thank you for the key, for unlocking me  ~
God
There was a time this would have simply been a rhyme
Now it is a prayer of thanks for all I have and all I am
I thank you for your Divine Grace
Oh Sweet Creator how I love thee
The joy in knowing you love me too
Hare Krishna Hare Krishna~

Your Daughter

Top 10 things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Life
Health
Love
Heart
Laughter
Healing
Learning
Hope
Lessons
Hugs

P.S. My Turtle King and Star Child: When you are ready. Come to me. I am loving you always, Mom

Tyrone Wells - All You Gotta Do Is Dream

The Weepies - Can't Go Back Now [Official Music Video]

Someday Soon by FireFall

Sun Is Shining - Bob Marley

Empress of Mirth ~

The Empress of Mirth

She laughs from deep within her soul, with a genuine sparkle, without reserve, without fear

There is no way to stifle the sound once it has begun, so enjoy the show, enjoy the premier~

This is how life is celebrated, by perceiving the ridiculous, perceiving the significance

To appreciate this amazing existence with delight and a glad heart, that is a gift, that is a purpose ~

Goddess ~ I honor you.

God

Thank you for the music. Thank you for giving me back to me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Your Daughter

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:

Smiles

Laughter - LAUGH OUT LOUD LAUGHTER

Fun

Yoga

ME

P.S. Hello my doves. My loves.  I was totally checking out all of your fb pictures today. With my new fb account I can see a lot more of your pictures. It was awesome. Still hard to believe how much you have both grown and matured. I still see you as the little people you were, the little(r) people I last saw, and the mature and magnificent people you are both blossoming into.  I am sure you both know I could go on and on and on, (that memory is pretty clear, even now, ha ha) but the bottom line is whatever I do and wherever I end up, it's you two that helped get me there. Just remember that. Okay? You both inspired me to save my life, this life.  I just want to thank you both. Just in case that's something I haven't done enough of. I think that's pretty amazing.  I just want you both to know I think you are truly spectacular and I am just so very (insert swear word to emphasize point) proud of you both!!! I love you both. That is all (for now). Mom

Living In Love - I Wayne

The Police - Walking on the Moon

Happy Toes, Happy Thoughts ~

This post will definitely have a picture inserted with my super duper "happy yoga toes". I knew yoga was my calling when the first thing I was complimented on by my instructor and fellow yogis was my "AMAZING YOGA TOES". Although I have had people remark upon my toes throughout my life, I can assure you, those comments would not be mistaken for compliments. The comments were more in line with,"Wow, you can swing from a branch with those monkey toes." Or, you know if you ever lost the use of your arms/hands, you actually have back-up. No shit Sherlock. I can pinch, pull, and pick-up things with my toes. It's because I was being prepared for my true calling and that would require an amazing yoga practice for which my toes are NECESSARY and APPRECIATED (as opposed to mocked and ridiculed). Sorry for the tangent, just one more little side note: MEAN PEOPLE NEED LOTS AND LOTS OF HUGS FROM THE WHOLE WORLD! Seriously, there's just not enough of me to go around, not even when I enlist my unicorns and they call their people and so forth. The rainbow "telephone" slide only extends so far, so often. You know?

Good day, let's go for a stellar night, and then, start tomorrow and do this life all over again. Love second chances, I get one every day. How is that for miraculous. Know what else is miraculous? Breathing. Yes, breathing. Ever notice that each breath is unique and new? Want to experience something marvelous, slow down, concentrate on your breath. Focus. Now marvel at the fact that each breath is brand new and will never come again, and will never be the same. Enjoy the joy. Now. Just. Breathe.

Goddess ~ I know you are here, within me. I sense the time is drawing nearer.
I am open. I am here. I am ready.

God

As the moon shines down upon me, alighting the fields with light

My heart beats soundly, even loudly, on this star filled smoky night

I am feeling the quickening, my pulse, the driving cosmic force 

There is but one way that is clear to me, only one option, 

one source: Follow Love ~ Follow God

Thank you for my life.

Your Daughter

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Girlfriends
Deer
Pictures
Concern
Empathy

P.S. Hello my two cherubs. Not much happening, literally. I suppose that's a good thing. I have been praying fervently for a miracle or seven. In the meantime, I'm well, having more mini miracles and appreciating them a lot. Like getting parts of my memory back. It's really hard because some very unpleasant memories came floating in at the same time, but then I had a whole bunch of memories that were really happy, like the ones with you two. It's totally worth it. You two make me so damn happy. Again, there are no words. Motivation, Motivation, Motivation! Love you more than a bee loves honey, well I guess that would be (ha ha) a bee loves flowers and a bear loves honey, bare (ha ha, I did it again) with me, okay? Oh, to be a dork, an uber dork at that. Too bad that doesn't pay...lol. Love you two, more than a banana loves splits. Oh that was bad wasn't it? ha ha ha.  Tired, and loopy but don't call me Snoopy. Okay okay, I'm going to bed. Up at 4 a.m. tomorrow and with the "Spring Forward" it's still like 3 a.m. on my internal clock.  Please know I am loving you both. Mom

Vitamin C - Smile

Stephen Marley ft. Capleton - Sunshine girl

Mystical Love - Yael Naim

José González - 'Teardrop'

Breathe Well ~

I think "breathe well" is how I am going to end my letters. It's quite profound, at least in my neck of the woods. (That's both a literal and figurative reference).

I keep joking (half joking, of course some truth is involved) that I am an underachiever. That there are "A" personality types and based on that rating I would be considered more of a B+ type. I have been comfortable in the "slightly above average" category in most areas of life. I've gone out of my way to correct people who have even complimented me when I've had an extraordinary (in my perspective) day. Meaning, if someone says, "Beautiful", I say,"Cute", if someone says, "Intelligent", I say, "So-so smarts", if someone says, "Kind", I say "Nice at times", rather I DID say these things. Really unproductive and totally putting myself down. ENOUGH of that. God has my back and since I am a Divine Creation I am thinking now or rather trusting now that I am spectacular and I am the best me I can be RIGHT NOW. That's a thought worth considering. Being happy in THIS moment, means being happy with MYSELF in this moment.  Score one for "team insight"! :)

I almost didn't practice yoga today. I meditated this morning before work and started falling asleep around 6:30. Mz. P and I are on a challenge of sorts. I am practicing a "physical" yoga combined with spiritual and mental yoga daily, 30 times in 30 days. The deal (with myself) is that if I miss any aspect of the three I have to make it up by doubling up. I'm behind 4 physical days. I've got this. I'm motivated beyond motivated. I know because sleep is a precious commodity in my life and I got up and just finished practice a half hour ago. That means I was awake to write tonight. These are all important aspects of my life. Not worth missing. Not at all. I have so many reasons to be happy. I need to be on top of my devotion and thanks. It's so little to give when I receive so very much.

Okay, well that's some sort of update! :)

Goddess ~ I feel the vibration, the core, the center pulsating through me. I am ready ~

God

Thank you for this miraculous day. No pain, none at all. Euphoric? I don't know how else to describe it. I do know how to respond and react to it, with thanks and dedication. Here I am, your daughter, and I thank you. My children are healthy and safe and on track to pursue their dreams, and I thank you. The kids dad is doing well and we are communicating openly and kindly and respectfully, and I thank you.  I have closed additional chapters with people from the past trusting my true intuition, and I thank you.  My world is smaller yet with the people who participate in my life, yet my world is growing exponentially with the people whose life I participate in, and I thank you.  Here, where I am, is where I need to be, and I thank you.  These lessons while so hard and seemingly brutal at times, are what I need to prepare me for life off "The Mountain", and I thank you. As exposed as I have been to many unpleasant aspects in life, there has always been a rather naive quality about me, I have grown and matured in many ways, and I thank you.  It is a good thing, a very good thing, and I thank you. Though I have endured the growing pains sometimes less than stoically or gracefully, I have endured, and I thank you. I have persevered, and I thank you. I am becoming who I was meant to be, and I thank you.  Thank you, thank you for showing me the reflection of my soul. There are no words, there is only this life to show my appreciation. With all that I am, that you have created me to be, that you are preparing me to become, I love you. I thank you. Please grant me continued serenity and a life of grace under pressure with a kind word and gentle touch ~

Your Daughter

Top 5 things I am Grateful for today:

NO PAIN

Euphoria

Yoga

Meditation

Mystical 

P.S. Hello my sweet of sweetest two songs of my heart. Son, I wanted to share one of my favorite memories of you. After a Basketball game (at Silverlake) we were at a store and a girl (your twin, Jasmine) was there and some other kids from your basketball team, you hugged me and then held my hand. I remember saying to you that you didn't have to hug me back, I was just SO stinking proud of you and just wanting to hug and squeeze you. You looked at me and said,"It's okay mom, I love you, I'm not embarrassed". You hugged me and held my hand at the checkout. That was one of the happiest days of my life. I remember totally bragging on you that I have a son that publicly loved his mom, me. My heart was so full. It is so full now with just the memory.  To remember that moment of pure sweetness, that unashamed quality of loving that you possess. Priceless. I love you son. My Star Child, I dreamed of you and your brother last night. I don't know if it was a memory or a dream. I woke up crying. It was one of those dreams you don't remember exactly what happened but you feel the feeling. Mahino? It was like hugging you in my dream. I thought I lost so much, but my mind, there are memories filtering in, and many of those memories are of the two of you. It's the greatest gift. I am so thankful for these memories. Damn I miss you two. Motivation, motivation, motivation! Loving you more than, well, anything ~ Mom

Blondie - The Tide Is High

Love's Many Faces ~

Love has so many faces. Sometimes we find the most love in the unlikeliest of places ~

I am not settling for less than God's plan.

Goddess ~ There is only today, only right now, what am I worried about? Thank you for showing me the power of love, the many faces of nature, the love of Her, Our Mother ~

God

What is there to say? I have been feeling so much, hurting so deeply, openly weeping most of today

There is no rhyme or reason, simply a full feeling that is whole, some parts sad, others glad 

The yin and yang, the balance of the universe, the openness of my heart to feel and to share, to understand

My purpose, Your purpose for my soul, it leaves me humbled as I doubt my courage to follow through

When I think these thoughts, I know they are just a thought, and in the end I have dedicated my life to YOU 

I love you. I thank you. I ask you to see the prayers within my heart's deepest recesses 

Please grant me serenity ~

Your Daughter

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:

Banana Cake

Sharing

Reconnecting

Values

Intuition

P.S. Hello my two loves, mom here. Son, I've been looking at your pictures from Prom and that super cute pic with your cousin and lil bff girlie friend. I see in your eyes a sweetness and gentleness. I weep from happiness at the amazing man you are and are becoming. Oh sweet boy how you have grown. I miss holding your hand, miss our talks, miss your smile, miss your voice, miss your jokes and fine humor, miss your witty remarks and sparkling laughter. I miss you. Daughter of my heart, Star of my sky, I think of you and think of one of my most cherished and precious memories. You were not quite 2 years old and we were in the airport in LAX for D:AYS, living in there like the movie the Terminal. It was daddy, your brother, you, and me alone for the first couple of days. We were traveling standby to Hawaii during the summer for one of your family reunions. Two of your uncles and cousin were also there, waiting with us after the first couple of days. You were finally able to get out on a flight with your brother and cousin by riding on your uncle's lap. When the flight attendant came and said you could fly you were so happy you started running toward the plane, ALONE. I called after you and you turned and looked at me and ran back and jumped into my arms. You gave me the biggest, tightest hug EVER and said,"It's okay mommy I love you, I am going to fly on the airplane so I will be in Hawaii and you will have to hurry because I am going and I am going to be waiting for you." You told me how it was going to be. You know what? We got out on the next flight, daddy and I.  I have never forgotten that moment. I have never forgotten that hug. There is a picture of that moment in my box of pictures back in Tonga. I love you sweet girl and although I have nothing figured out, know that in this life I am always only right behind you. You inspire me, the both of you, you motivate me, the both of you. I don't know how, but I know it will all work out in the end. Always loving you and adoring you. Mom

Pink 18 Wheeler

Peter Gabriel & Kate Bush -Don't Give Up

Hare Hare ~

What an enchanted evening! I, a devotee of God, chanted the names of the Lord all evening. The tears flowed freely and safely as my voice was lifted in song, giving thanks, giving praise. Oh how I have missed the spiritual community so very much. I have missed the community of brothers and sisters. Bhakti yoga. Pure devotion to God. Pure Love ~

Goddess ~ I wore your feminine grace, and sang to Radha, and sang through Radha to Krishna. I was home.
God
Singing your names, singing to you, it gave me such joy, such pure sweet happiness. One more revelation that has been provided to me. I thank you. I ask for peace and serenity to face each path, each opportunity, each direction. Please help me to stay calm and focused. Balanced and Harmonized.  Please help me to transition with ease into this new life you are creating for me. I am your vessel. I am your child. I humbly ask these things. I thank you for the miracle that was today ~

Your Daughter

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Bhakti
Love
Community
Sweetness
Eternity

P.S. You two would have loved tonight I think, I know you would have loved the music. The women who sang tonight were just amazing and the voices uplifted, ah, so beautiful. I thought of you two and how much you would have delighted in hearing so many lift their voices singing the names of The Lord ~ God has many names I believe and the beauty of devotion is it's all going to the same place. I love that about kirtan (chanting). I love devotional yoga, Bhakti. It's a practice of serving and loving and devoting oneself to God. I've been away from it since I've been here on "The Mountain", tonight was the first time in over 7 months I've been able to attend. It made my heart very happy. It's the only place I feel the most like "me". One day I would love to share this world with you both, when you are ready. Until then, as always, you are with me. As always, then and now, and forever more I am loving you ~ Mom

Freckles - Natasha Bedingfield

Regina Spektor - "Laughing With" [Official Music Video]

The Light of the Creator ~

I've been looking at one of my Kabbalah cards all day. Actually, the past two days. I even took it into the kitchen with me today just to have it near me. Even now it's literally sitting in my lap. It is really a powerful card. The question is this: Write a list of everything you think the Light might contain. How does it compare to the list of things you desire in life. By Light, it is the Light of the Creator... Big assignment. Going to pray on this. Meditate on this. Set an intention during my yoga practice for this.

Okay, so there have been some rather deep momentous occasions of late. Like daily. Divine message delivered personally today. To think I ever thought I didn't matter. wow. Wow. WOW.

Goddess ~ Thank you for the support, and the guidance. Tomorrow, more please???

God
This is your life, my intention remains heart centered. My love, the same, only bigger. Please, more please?
I love you. I thank you.

Your Daughter

Top 5 things I am Grateful for today:
Yoga
Mz. P
Chickens
Nerds
Miniatures

P.S. My dearest Star Child and Turtle King, You know it's that time right? I feel a rather large comparison or two coming on. Are you ready? I love you more than flowers love the spring, more than clouds love the sky, more than morning loves the first rays of light, more than the wind loves the echoes of the canyon, more than .... always, more than ~
Mom

Yael Naim new soul

Angus and Julia Stone - Mango Tree [Official Music Video]

Continuous Flow ~

I was so exhausted last night. Quick phone call with one of the besties after a very difficult night that ended on quite a profound note. Heart chakra is open and through it I was able to work with the deepest pain I have ever encountered in another person.  My dear dear friend here on "The Mountain" has been suffering on a level I can not even fathom surviving. Sure as hell put my piddly crap into perspective and  has got me quiet. Quiet and contemplative. Quiet and listening. Quiet and reconsidering this healing and perhaps motivating me on a higher level so I may help her. Be the vessel. Not what I was planning. Not what I will walk away from. Time to kick this all up a few notches, this lady has been instrumental in helping me save myself. Who the hell am I not to return that love? Simply "being there" is not enough. I need to be HERE, RIGHT NOW, and learn to ground, balance, and focus the Divine Energy we all have. As an empath of sorts, I experience strong emotional currents, I've never dealt with that very well. Guess it's time. Again, not what I was planning. Oh God, you are a clever clever God. Someday I will have the energy or perhaps guts to spill this all out in detail, but hell, I'm on day one of a whole new world. Again, all new. Again, I am simply amazed at this life.

Goddess ~ Embracing my the Divine Feminine, Please support my journey.
God
Thank you for the revelations, I'm sorry I took so long to listen.
Please help me to stay focused and strong and faithful ~
Your Daughter

Top 5 things I am Grateful for this morning:
Health
Strength
Kindness
Light
Courage

P.S. Kids, Mom loves you. Simple as that ~

Ziggy Marley & The Melody Makers - We Are One

You Don't Know Me - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole

Alexi Murdoch - It's Only Fear

Alexi Murdoch - Breathe

Rise Up (Sweet Family Dear) - Guru Singh

Dream Support ~

One of the most rewarding aspects of life (I believe) is when you get to share in someone else's dreams coming true. It's sometimes (for me) as rewarding as having my own come true (hasn't happened yet). The point is, when someone you care about begins to realize their dreams, it's such a beautiful gift to be able to share in their happiness and delight. I love seeing people happy, most especially those I love best!

Tired. Tired. Tired. BUT I AM STILL IN IT!!! :D

Goddess ~ Empowerment comes with a price, please allow me the space to process and heal as I recharge my energies. I thank you for the gifts.
God
Today was difficult as you well know, Grace under pressure, learning to be quiet, learning to quiet
These are Divine lessons, and I thank you for delivering them right to my front doorstep. Prayers answered.
I thank you.

Your Daughter

Top 5 Things I am GRATEFUL for today:
SUNSHINE
FROGS
NATURE
PAMETTA
YOGA

P.S. Kids, you know the drill. Yes, I'm going to say it, "I LOVE YOU". Mom

The Civil Wars - Lily Love

Prayer of St. Francis by Sarah MacLachlan

Must Sleep ~

Exhaustion on so many levels has set in. I must rest. First however I must pray. 

Goddess ~ I call to thee and ask for strength unlike any before. Please shine so brightly it blinds. 

God.

Thank you for today. I am sorry I didn't appreciate today enough. I must let this upset go, see these obstacles as opportunities, it's SO hard, this path. Yet, I want it. Tomorrow extreme motivation operation, "DREAM BIGGEST" commences. Regroup completed. Let's do this, together. I love you.

Your Daughter

Top 5:

Life

Drive

Resolve

Dedication

Determination

Kids: Call me please. Soon? I miss you guys so much. A little incentive would be fantastic right now, like hearing your voices and actual updates from YOU about your life? Am adoring you always, Mom

Sea Dreamer - Sting/Anoushka Shankar/Karsh Kale (lyrics)

Yuna - Live Your Life [Lyrics On Screen]

The Buddha's Gift ~

“One day the Buddha was walking through a village. A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him. "You have no right teaching others," he shouted. "You are as stupid as everyone else. You are nothing but a fake!"
The Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man, "Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?"
The young man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, "It would belong to me, because I bought the gift."
The Buddha smiled and said, "That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself."

What a wonderful way to illustrate the perils of holding onto anger ~

Namaste,
K

Kate Miller-Heidke - Caught In The Crowd

Bill Conti - Gonna Fly Now (Theme From Rocky)

Bob Marley One Drop

Pretty in Pink ~

I just saw my son's Prom pictures... He was rocking the pink.  So handsome and his date, gorgeous.  They were matching perfectly in the lightest shade of pink. Exquisitely sweet, so lovely. Oh how I miss that guy.
Thank God for facebook and these moments. Life's bittersweet like that and humbling also. Funny how you learn to appreciate things on a level that...well, yes, I am humble and appreciative. Thank you to the gf for posting them.

School is at a standstill, I have to find out what college is offering my program of choice.  Dental drama today, rather I didn't like what I heard. Something about a specialist in Portland and pain. I checked out and well, tough day but so what right? I'm in it, this is the part where my heart is open with all the love so the pain  is there as well. Time to use the "Applied Science" of faith and give it to God. It's way too big for me. GOD, I AM HERE! (Just clarifying)

A bit emotional. Tired. Practiced yoga twice today. My outlet, my focus.  I was completely drained of energy, let's say I passed a shit load of it on. I don't know that I grounded myself appropriately, but I need to push myself and move beyond where I have been. It's time...

Okay, vague night, I'm a bit of a wounded bird, no victim, just OUCHIE right now. Need to rest so I can do my best tomorrow... Beautiful day full of growth and more opportunity to apply lessons learned. Live life day by day and don't sweat the small stuff, and remember it's all small stuff. :)

Goddess ~ Tonight I draw strength in who you are, all feminine energy lies within me.
God
I am yours. I am your vessel.  Please help me to be like a beacon for the Brightest Star.
I Thank you for the opportunity to become who I am meant to be.
I love you in all of your names, I love you.

By Your Grace,
Your Pure Daughter

Top 5 Things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Son
Daughter
Yoga
Presence
Divine Spark

P.S. Son, there are no words. Daughter, no words. What I feel is too big, too much, to huge for my heart. If there was a way to express something more than love, well, if there is I shall search all my days to find it, because "I love you" does not say enough. Mom

Sara Bareilles - King Of Anything

Etana - I'm Not Afraid

Etana - Don't Forget

ETANA - FREE [Official Music Video]

Only Son "Magic" Official Video

Regina Spektor - "Samson" [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

Samson and Delilah ~

Ah, a love song. Not the divine love song of my dearest and most beautiful Krishna and Radha, but perhaps one of the those I know well: Samson and Delilah.

I loved, oh yes I loved, so deeply, so well, so truly, many thought the basis of my mental instability was simply my loving someone else too much, too fully, too completely.  I loved him fully, although it was one foot in the grave, mine. I was lost, in my own mind, the voices, his words, the words of others and my heart broke. Now, now my heart is mending, it is whole and full of sorrow and love together in one place. It is glorious and still I experience pangs of bittersweet sorrow, yet I manage, I move forward, and I know now more than ever how blessed I was and am to have had that love, to have felt that love for another because I will never doubt my capacity for love, ever. What a gift is that I ask you?

He did have long hair when I met him. So beautiful, like a tropical waterfall, so exotic, intoxicating...

Moving on, here I am today, and a step closer to who God is preparing for me, for us, as my children will always have a place in my life. (No one meant for me would not be meant for them as well. That is something I relish, I treasure, I find comfort in.)  These are not just standards for a day, for a phase, but for my forever. Yes, I shall wait, yes, I shall persevere no matter, as I have been shown, there is life beyond the here and now. Unlike my Buddhist counterparts, I do not believe this is all. I never did, and I do not forsee changing my stance on that tres importante factoid in my life. Although, to be fair, I shall not again use the "n" word, EVER with the N in front of it...

Ah, enough sentiment for tonight, much to share yet, I have, on the outside, with a dear friend, a friend from before that has a place in the future, one of those rare unique beings that continues to remain despite the odds, genuine, true, and just well, supportive. The truth hurts, she does not mince the facts, yet gentles them, something rare in my life. Rare and appreciated more than all the rice in China, fuck the tea!

Goddess ~ The power today, I shone brightly within every word I said rightly.  I thank you ~
God
Where to begin oh benevolent creator? I prayed, you stayed, I was never alone.
A vessel I only requested to be, through you was revealed a portion of my destiny.
My heart rings true in all I say and all I do, your way is clear though murky it began
I am not questioning any longer, your will is my command, I hear and I obey
Listening has become my newest virtue, in this place I desire to stay, so much to learn
By feeding revelation and not the story, I am in this life, living in all of your glory
THANK YOU!

By Your Grace,
Your Pure Daughter

Top 5 things I am GRATEFUL for today:
A Muse
Pametta
Direction (through process of extreme elimination, ha ha)
Fortitude
Dreams

P.S. You two, how ever did I think I could figure anything out at all? Seems a bit arrogant, or at the least mistrustful of my own intuition as I know without a doubt there is a greater "one" than us, a larger "being", a Divine Creator. Oh yes, I have always believed in God, I just haven't always believed in me. Yet as I become wiser (I hope) I see that by not having believed in me I was not believing in God. As God is within me, well, there's some serious discrepancies right? There's some other story that will fit right into this place one day when I'm ready to share it, it concerns my dad. We'll leave it alone for now though. I love you two more than an eagle loves it's wings ~
Mom

Pi squared ~

So today was a day off on "The Mountain". I was fed inspiration from so many different sources that included documentaries on yoga and the Buddha, to music, yoga with Mz. P and a lovely talk and an exceptional movie, The Life of Pi. I had read the book, twice. The movie captured certain elements that I didn't even catch in the book, his eyes, the tiger's eyes. I truly believe in the soul. Do you ever think that a soul could be defined as a person's moral and emotional sense of identity? I heard this thought expressed and thought I would share it to no one particular however I may revisit myself and I'd love to know my thoughts on it then. It touched me so deeply. I didn't care that there were over 70 people surrounding me. I wept through most of it. It is a must see. Life changing. Inspirational. Riveting. The cinematography was worth anything that may not be a true representation from the book that the screen may have missed, it was spectacular. Truly. What a lesson tonight about finding God.  I too have met Jesus, the Buddha, Krishna, and Allah. I am currently studying a part of the Kabbalah.  I believe the whole world holds a piece of the puzzle and where it is all true it is all false. Where we have it all we have nothing. Is it any wonder I fell in love with Life of Pi many years ago and now the movie?  To say it resonates it an understatement, yet it was such a profound moment, almost validating that once again, I am not alone. These are not original thoughts I have had. I revel in that knowledge.


The Life of Pi did open up a memory of another book I read that brought a similar range of feelings in much the same way. Yes, that was a bit vague however it is a bit too much to pull apart tonight and I really desire a solid night's sleep. Anyways the book is called The Gargoyle. I fell in love with that book. Ah, another love thing. Noted! A book on extreme suffering, perseverance, compassion, doing life differently, a shift in perception, letting go, and one of the most beautiful love stories I've ever read.

I found this article today when reading something on C.S. Lewis. There was an excerpt that read:
a story told by Jostein Gaarder in The Solitaire Mystery, where he writes:
A Russian cosmonaut and a Russian brain surgeon
were once discussing Christianity. The brain surgeon
was Christian, but the cosmonaut wasn’t. “I have
been in outer space many times,” bragged the
cosmonaut, “but I have never seen any angels.” The
brain surgeon stared in amazement, but then he said,
“And I have operated on many intelligent brains, but I
have never seen a single thought.”

What did I want to say tonight? Just that I am blessed to be here.

Goddess - This is just the beginning, feminine Divinity ~
God
Simply put. Thank you. I am your vessel. I am ready.

By Your Grace,
Your Pure Daughter

Top 5 Things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Sunshine
Ofa Lahi
Flip-Flops
Yoga
Inspiration

P.S. You two, there is nothing greater than knowing you have survived so far and are just getting started. Life has been difficult but again, remember it doesn't need to continue to be so. That part is a choice, better choices result in the hard parts but not extreme difficulties. It's your story, choose how to tell it to yourself because you are the only you that matters. What you are, is utterly perfect. I am your mom and I adore you and see every aspect of you. It's in every part of you that I rejoice for your uniqueness, your inherent goodness, your intelligence, your potential, and your current ability. You are. I am. We shall be together one day. That is my dream. I love you. Mom