The Spirit of Liahona ~

My beautiful friend, the animal whisperer, first shared the joys of new life yesterday by recounting the adventures of her baby chickens and today the highest recommendation for a movie: Red Dog. I have fallen in love, again. I am inspired. I watched Hachi, another "based on a true story" movie about a dog. I nearly asphyxiated because I couldn't breathe. Mz. P and I looked like we had been practicing round house kicks on each other the following day as both of our eyes were nearly swollen shut (or so it appeared). Seriously, I don't know when the "numb switch" was turned off but wow, to feel again, so deeply and completely, well, there is the pain and the love. The completeness which is life. Whole.

I once found something that was worth staying in one place for, my children.  Although I am no longer in that place, nor are my children, they are always with me, in my heart. I wonder where the next place will be and who will draw me there and when. It is all quite mysterious and certainly unknown to me. Hence, this lesson I am learning to take things day by day and not live beyond now.

As always with this life, the unpredictability of the lessons and in what form we are shown them is quite marvelous. Last night, well, the teacher here on "The Mountain" met with me to get an update on our yogi who required medical attention (who by the way is doing quite well now and has become the newest member of my rainbow and unicorn coalition).  This teacher, a very sweet and dear man, asked where I had lived, and my time in the South Pacific came up, specifically The Kingdom of Tonga. Wouldn't you know it, he has not only heard of this country, he stayed there, we walked the same road, sat on the same pier. Albeit separated by about 3 decades from our travels there, the love of the islands, of the South Pacific radiated from him, from his heart.  Last night was quite surreal in how love was expressed and that the deepest recesses of my soul where all my most tender memories and love lives was brought forward into the light. With that, the pain came as well, yet as in my recent discoveries of late, I did not die from it. I have been more than just a bit of a limp rag.  All day, exhaustion threatened to envelop me, energies depleted from the hospital, cooking/working, recovering from some physical difficulties, and of course the upsets we've had on "The Mountain". Yet, what I have concluded is that I would rather face this new life free of all the fears, including loving again, including feeling all of the love in my heart and allowing the pain to be as well. It is one of the wonderful practices in Buddhism is the acceptance of both the suffering and the love, all without judgment and without fear. Compassionately. Quite lovely. Just quite.

I re-read some of what I shared last night and a few nights ago. It is amazing to me that more and more I am leaving behind the last vestiges of who I expressed myself to be.  Spiritual molting, morphing and growing. I am branching out, becoming stronger, and remain resolute in my determination to do this entire life differently. This includes sharing all aspects, delving deeper and cutting out the shit.  I am learning to face much more head on while adhering to and respecting my boundaries (in many areas creating them). However much I do, that is what I can do and that is enough. What a concept! :)

Well, as always, I've figured nothing out really, but I have begun to lay down a foundation for this new, whole life of mine.  A foundation that is healthy, kind, genuine, honest, and true.  A foundation built on compassion, boundaries, respect and love of a few amazing people sprinkled with the joy and delight in new faces, random (seemingly, ha) encounters and sharing the energy of fellow sentient beings in this big beautiful world.  Deep gratitude for an ocean that spans the globe of this land and the entirety of my heart where the most precious jewels reside, my children. This new life in devotion to GOD, my Divine Creator.

I fell in love twice today. The first time was with Pablo Neruda, a Chilean poet. The second with Red Dog, the movie, the spirit, the love.  The following was the poem that resonated strongest today:

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.” 
― Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

Goddess - Strength isn't overpowering, it isn't cruel, it isn't harsh, it is certainty in a divine purpose, a feminine  power, tempered in love and intuition.
God
I constantly battle with being open, of exposing the pulsating, beating of my heart
Yet that is the sound I hear most, the one sound I write about, the beginning, the start
Whether it triggers a memory of my children, or calms me into slumber, it is what I hear
Recent is this discovery, as not so very long ago, it was my heart itself that housed my fear
Freed to feel, freed to cry, freed in pain, freed in love
Thank you oh Divine Creator for this gift of life ~

By your Grace,
Your Pure Daughter

Top 5 Things I am GRATEFUL for today:
Sharing
Consideration
Maturity
Affection
Humanity

P.S. Well, when you two have a chance to read today's download you will get the gist of yesterday's extraordinary gift from an unexpected corner.  I do miss the islands, the ocean, the people, the spirit of Liahona. Mahino? Somewhere, somehow, someway there will be another island.  I believe this as I know God sees my heart, I know I have set my intention, my desire. How bi g do I dare to dream guys and also include the ocean that is my heart?  Well, this life of mine is just getting started. Let's just see what right action and openness and willingness and absolute faith that God has this all under control! I'm in it now so let's see what paths represent themselves on this journey that is my life. Oh you two, I am missing you. I am still able to recall with clarity what it felt like to hug and hold you both. I am so very grateful it is a closer and more recent memory.  I will try and be more forthcoming on here so you can get a better idea of what I encounter and what I learn, more of the process.  I thought about getting a tattoo on my forehead that reads "Under Construction" but I heard this rumor that everyone feels about the same way, that we're all a work in progress. Guess I'm not so different after all, I'm strange and mushy sure, but not so different as it is turning out. Feels pretty good to fit in.“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.” (one of my favorite quotes by C.S. Lewis).  Please just know I'm with you both, and you are both with me. Connected. Always. Loving you both. Always. Mom